Tuesday, 8 November 2011

A Commentary to Life

Bob Marley.

There's a Bob Marley shaped ash tray infront of me, I gazed upon the shape of it until a story was revealed.

Note that there is so much in life that cannot be expressed by mere words, the best thing to do is to look at what the words point to rather than concentrate on the word in itself.

Bob Marley told me a story.

Bob Marley told me that we live in a world full of lies, minds conditioned to a certain expectation, conditioned by a society biased species that focus on falseness rather than truth.

That's the truth, reader, that the human condition is conditioned by beliefs and thoughts, more superstition rather than reality.

Bob Marley said that there is no self, and he also said that reality is not what we think it is.

Is that true?

There is nothing but the direct experience of reality, there is nothing awareness is not aware of.

Awareness can is aware of practically everything in existence.

I imagined myself as a stationary traveler seeking for truth. I listened to the imaginary figure of Bob Marley, that imaginary figure was the so called "motivation" of me typing this post down.

The following is the truth:

You're life has been conditioned by lies, beliefs and thoughts. Most of what your mind thinks of is not reality, it's what your mind thinks reality is.

Reality can only be directly experienced, truth can only be directly experienced.

The mind has been conditioned by falacy, but the the brain still has that ability, the ability to diffrenciate between truth and fiction.

This abilty exists, and the reason your reading this is because your mind has grown tired of all the fictions, the tiresom pursiuit of "happiness".

Bob Marley was never happy, I myself was never really happy, happiness is a goal we will never reach, because it's just an image in our brain, and that image can never be found in reality because it's just an image of the brain.

The brain has developed the function of distorting reality with these false images of what reality should be, and what it shouldn't be.

Bob Marley spent his whole life pursuing happiness, and he never reached it.

He told me that reality is just what is, it's the direct experience of reality happening.

I asked him: "Is there a self?"


There is none, there is no self he said.

You cannot imagine a self, you cannot think of a self, you cannot experience a self, because it is just an image.

You can only experience the image of a self, you can only think of what the self might be, but you can never directly experience what a self actually is.

All those hippies, so many of them, tell you that the true self is your true nature, and that it's the whole universe.

That's a fallacy.

I know that, Bob Marley knows that.

Nature is just nature, the universe is just the universe. The direct experience of reality, which is the only experience that is happening ( it's what your mind labels as "your" experience) is all that exists.

It's what humanity misconcieved as god, it's the whole universe, you've been lied to.

The only reality that exists is death, the void.

You've been lied to, you've been "guided" to the only path of damnation, the path of what you labeled as "faith".

All your labels are wrong.

I don't exist, Bob Marley doesn't exist, you don't exist,

We never existed, we never did, really, you've been lied to.

All it was, all it has been, was just a simple mistake, a false belief, that we exist, that you exist.

Why do you prepetuate the belief? why do you strengthen a fallacy?

Strengthening a fallacy does not change reality, reality has been, is, and will always be what it is. The empty void, devoid of all meaning, belief, it's true freedom.

I wish there would be a way by which I could manually wake you up from the false dream you're living.

But there is no way I could help you, except point to the truth, except point to reality, because to you I am just a concept, which is truth, I am just a concept in your direct experience of reality.

Why don't you want to wake up? What are you waiting for?

You complain from suferring yet you do everything to keep yourself from waking up to the truth.

You hate the truth and you camplain from not seeing it.

Don't you see? All the contradictions that stem from concepts and beliefs?

They're just fallacies, just fallacies, that's all they are, false pointers, I can't show you the truth, the truth exists.

Freedom is inevitable, once you've started questioning your life, freedom is inevitable, so stop resisting it.

You don't exist, there is no you living life, there is only life happening, and it's the truth everyday, and every single moment of your life.

Whether you like it or not truth will always exist, and reality will keep on knocking on your front door.

Who you think you are is not who you are, who you feel you are is not who you are, what people tell you you are is not who you are, nothing is who you are, you are nothing.

Focus on what I'm saying, you are nothing, you never were anything, you were never born, you are already dead, you are already nothing, you are already free.

You are just a false story the mind created in order to make sense of the world.

Wake up, wake up to reality, you really don't exist, there is no you, there is just the experience of life.

Don't take "my" word for it, I don't exist, you can't take my words as true, you have to check for yourself.

This is truth, this isn't just another belief.

You never were and you never will be.

And you aren't now.

Life exists and it will continue to exist, and it exists now, and you never existed in it.

You are a fallacy... Wake up, wake up.

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Thursday, 3 November 2011

Movement and Change, Life and Death

Change is the evidence surrounding us that shows that what we perceive something to be is false, our perception is always clouded by thoughts of the perceived.

The thing is you can't remove thought from perception, what you can do though is see the falsity of it, by noticing the constant change in environment and in "yourself", you'll see that nothing's ever static, everything is in constant change.

Truth cannot change, anything that changes is false, and everything around you changes, actually everything you are aware of changes.

Except one thing, empty space.

The space in which everything exists is true, that empty space is life itself, the void.

You can't grasp the void, but staring at the void long enough means the destruction of false patterns.

I prefer calling the void death, because that's what it really is, death, it's what you fear the most.

It's the death of all belief and all what you think you know about life, because all patterns of thought are in constant change, once you think of something the thought would have already changed by the time you are aware of it.

Think what it would be like if you were dead, there would be no sound to hear, no object to see, no taste to taste, no breath, no experience, nothing, that is the nothing that I am pointing at.

And that's the only truth you will ever find, emptiness, death.

That's what life is, death, there is no such thing as your life it's just the mind making up stories because it doesn't want to accept the reality of death, the fact is that you are afraid of death, and you don't want to accept it.

You are already empty, and all of your thoughts are not true, they're just thoughts, and all thoughts are the added illusion derived from perception, thoughts are the distortion of reality.

There are almost infinite amount of layers we have added to cover up the emptiness that's the very core of our lives, we've covered it up beautifully and we've deluded ourselves into thinking that these layers are not actually see through.

But the truth is death, and it's right infront of our faces, death is in everything and everywhere, as soon as you are aware of this moment this moment would have died, nothing is what you think it is, reality isn't what you want it to be, because what you want it to be isn't true, and the you that thinks and wants doesn't exist.

You will never be free until you have accepted the reality that you don't exist, and that everything around you is distorted by beliefs and false thought patterns, none of your beliefs are true, none of your thoughts are true, and you hate might that, because you know what that means, it means finding out the truth, it means the end of you.

But you never really had begun in order to end.

Accept death, what do you have to lose anyway? the only thing that dies is a lie, the only thing that goes through it is true, and nothing survives death. It's already everywhere.

Death is the core of existence.

"In order to live you must die"

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Thursday, 27 October 2011

The End of Destructive Patterns

What exactly is liberation?

The mind and the body is an interconnected system which acts and reacts according to the surrounding environment, the five perceptions of the the body receive data which trigger certain brain responses, these brain responses are called thoughts.

Due to conditioning the brain has gotten accustomed to certain mind responses, creating an imaginary mask called the self, most of these mind responses go unquestioned, the thoughts are blindly assumed as truth and an imaginary distortion of reality occurs.

These thoughts are involuntary responses, just no more than patterns of thought triggered by perception, the belief that these thoughts have any truth in them is the base of delusion.

This imaginary distortion of reality is what causes suffering, suffering is not a bad thing, it's like an itch, when you feel your nose itching you automatically scratch it, though with suffering humans tend to hide from it, perpetuating it, the same way that if your nose is itching and you're ignoring it, it's just gonna itch more.

Liberation is diving in through all these automatic dead and compulsive thought patterns and seeing whether they have any truth in them, it's just seeing that there is nothing more that mental thought pattern playing like a tape, reality happens along with the perception of it, the buttons are pressed, the destructive mental processes are projected.

How to do it?

See that the so called Self is just the accumulation of automatic thought responses to the environment, the fact that you believe in a self is due to your conditioning since you were born, you most probably were never encouraged to see whether such a self exists or not.

The Self cannot exist, because it is just a triggered response, the self cannot be in charge of experience because experience is what triggered the thought response of a self, of "you".

You can't see through a thought pattern using a thought pattern, people tend to try to understand or analyse this, but understanding and analyzing are also triggered thought patterns.

What you can do is just see this thought pattern as it is.

For example: The brain assumes that the self is doing the reading of this page, because it's gotten used to thinking that way, that assumption is just the thought pattern repeating itself, over and over again.

Did you really cause the reading to happen? or was it an automatic response to perception?

What about life itself? is there anybody living life? or is life just simply happening?

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Wednesday, 28 September 2011

Enlightened Analogies

1) The Movie Analogy:

Your life is like a movie, you exist inside this movie as an actor playing out a part, you don't control which or what role you play, you and everyone else are controlled by nothing.

You exist only as an actor in this movie, and so does everyone else, nobody actually exists for real, it's all just an act. All the concepts that exist inside the movie are fake, they're just for the show, there is nothing of importance in it, there is only the fake show of importance.

That means your mother, your father, your friends, me, you, are all just images, we're  not actually real.

2) The Game Analogy:

Life is like a first person shooter game played by nobody, the body and mind that you call you is just a mind body that plays an imaginary role in the game, it's the imaginary main role.

Anything and everything that you gain, or lose in the game is just part of the game, the game is one thing and is happening as one thing, there is no actual separation in the game since it's the same game, it's the ONLY game, nothing else exists outside of this, it's all that's there, it's your direct experience of reality.

All concepts inside the game are just concepts, there are no actual people, there are no actual losses, gains, there is no happiness, sadness, love, hate, emotion, all of these things are only illusions that play out a role that you add to who you think you are.

The main character in the game is you, but you are not real, you are just imaginary, you don't actually exist.

The Dream Analogy:

Life is just a dream, there is no dreamer dreaming it, because the thought that there is a "do-er" to anything is just a thought that came up within the dream.

No thoughts, no concepts are the actual real things in the dream, there is only one dream and it's this one, the one you are experiencing right now, only that you don't really exist, that's just another idea, another thought that you don't control, because you're not the one that's dreaming, nobody is because nobody exists.

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Wednesday, 14 September 2011

The Machine

I wouldn't call the human body/mind a machine, I think that the word "machine" fails to deliver the mechanism that is the human being.

A machine would require some sort of man made input, it doesn't just operate on it's own, saying that the human is a machine (or robot) is giving the impression that we are slaves, that there's always something or someone behind the body putting in input.

Well it's close, the human organism really is a complex being, and in fact it is on automatic, it really is doing it's thing.

But here's the thing.

There's nobody controlling it, there's nobody providing the input.

The only input it gets is from it's own environment, without the environment there would be no human body, and vice-versa .

"But who's doing life then? There MUST be someone behind all this, otherwise this wouldn't make any sense whatsoever".

Is that true?

How do you know it wouldn't make any sense? how do you know whether what you think as "sensible" is true or just a load of horseshit? really, how do you know?

You've been conditioned since you were born to think that way, it wasn't your conditioning, it was society's conditioning, so how can you be sure that your pattern of thought is the right one?

Just because everybody thinks that way doesn't make everybody right, actually, it's pushed everybody down the dark black well of delusion, and you're part of it.

The truth is that it's not true, there is nothing doing life, there is no God sitting on a gigantic throne looking down on people and writing their life plan on a piece of paper.

Cause and effect, it's flawed.

We think that since there's a body doing shit, then there must be something doing it, and in the same way we think that since everything around us exists, then there must be some magnificent entity doing that.

We created a false story, and we became slaves to our own imagination.

Life exists as it is there is no doer of life.

Then if there is no doer to this body, am I just a robot?

Two points:
1st point is that there is no you to be a robot, anything you label as you is just a content of thought that has no substance in reality since it is a mere projection of the brain.

2nd point is, the human organism is not a robot, a robot doesn't feel, a robot doesn't create illusion, a robot doesn't imagine shit and just blindly believe it, only humans can do that, and they do a fantastic job in it.

The human experience is an automation, environment affects body and stimulates it, that stimulation moves the body, makes the mind aware.

But it's all happening on it's own, and we don't exist in it.

Take a look.

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Check Your Chicken Bones ( On Physical Pain)

Today I had a real insight to the condition of the mind towards pain, turns out that pain is just a feeling, but what is it that defines whether that feeling is "pain" or "pig tails" (Pig tails doesn't make much sense does it?) ?

I was having lunch and as I normally do I just gulp the food down, if I'm concentrating on something else sometimes I forget to chew, and that was the case today.

A thin broken chicken bone got stuck 3/4 way down my throat, you could imagine the annoying pain that would create.

The thing is I didn't know what to do, whether to keep swallowing like a drain pipe or try throwing up, the bone was stuck and the uncomfortable, blood spitting, dilemma caused alot of anxiety and distress.

I decided to go to the nearest hospital. I came into the doctor's room where he pulled my tongue out and stuck a mirror down my throat to check where the bone is.

"There's no bone" he said, "It's gone down".

That really got me confused, It really felt as though something was blocking the passageway in my throat, or was that just an illusion?

Here's what happened in reality:
There were feelings coming out of the throat, signals sent to the brain indicating that there is something in the throat that needs to be taken care of, the parts of the brian responsible for analysis went frantic, the brain tried to analyse the signals into something "understandable" or "me related" and translated the signals in terms "there's a peice of bone in my throat". The brain believes it's own false analysis and starts panicking causing symptoms of anxiety and tension in the body.

But after a while the bone had passed the throat, why was it then that I was so convinced that the bone was still there?

Because the story was taken to be true without checking, once that happens the belief is assumed to be right until something else proves it wrong, I just wanted an excuse for the pain, a "reason"

Once the doctor pointed out that there is no bone, and that it was swallowed down a while ago, it just showed how much I was just holding onto that image, reinforcing the pain, as though I wanted it to happen, as if the image was true.

But the image was never true, it's just something that turns normal and natural bodily signals sent to the brain into "me" and "my pain", the image contributes to the story of "me".

I'm not saying that the image wasn't there in reality, it was, and at the time it felt really true, but it was just a feeling, when reality strikes again, everything comes back to place, and you see what it really was, just an Image.

That's what pain is actually, the suffering that comes from pain is all made up, it's a story attached to a feeling, next time you get a serious injury or some illness, instead of automatically being immersed in the story of "your suffering" look at what's happening.

And just a word of advice....

Check your chicken bones.


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Monday, 12 September 2011

The Play of Life

Are you good enough? smart enough? happy enough? fulfilled enough? attractive enough? And the questions go on.

Society is a playground, where masks are worn and roles are played out, and depending on how good you play your role you get rewarded accordingly.

In actual reality there is no self, therefore your personality, or better put, the set of thoughts that are called "you" are illusory, it's just a mask that's worn to be able to participate in this play ground as a role, but behind the mask there is nothing.

Just as you began becoming aware of this world you live in you were aware that this "Play of Life" has a set of rules.

The imaginary rules of the play:

  • All things (including thoughts) are divided into two categories, one category is labeled as "good", the other is labeled as "bad", if you do something good you "gain" an imaginary point and therefore have the right to feel good about yourself (you get to show a better mask), if you do something bad you "lose" an imaginary point therefore should beat yourself the fuck up (causing what is labeled as low self esteem).
  • There are a set of expectations put on your imaginary mask called self, you are expected to achieve certain goals, the mask must reach an imaginary goal called perfection/fulfillment.
  • The mask called you inevitably goes through phases of development, physically it's the process of childhood through adolescence through adulthood, fading out into old age and eventually death (the end of the play). Mentally you get educated first, then start a job, if your job is say a mechanic, depending on how good you play the role of mechanic you get payed, so you could be able to eat, drink, and sleep and enjoy imaginary indulgences and unnecessary luxuries.  
Newsflash: HELLO!!!! There's nothing but a false you.
There is nothing but a false role, a false job, false friends, false money, false (enter false label here).

In reality there is no such a thing as a you playing out life, that is a lie!

What you call your life is nothing but a make believe playground, what you call your personality as actually a role you play, you're just pretending as if you actually exist, but you don't, look!

And THAT was the birth of the ego, the mechanism of thought that is just a projection of the mind served as a role playing an imaginary character to take party in the illusory playground called the Play of Life.

No wonder people are all miserable and fucked up, society is based on that lie.

Suffering occurs when you are so identified with the false role that your playing that you start to think that it's actually real, that there is an actual you in existence, but there isn't, and that personality exists as an illusion.

Just look at it honestly, you can see it in the way we cover up our bodies in threads we call clothes, and the funny thing is we think that these clothes have actual value, they put price tags on them for fucks sake, you pay  money to cover up your body.

It gets worse though, in religion it's actually "bad" to be naked in the playground, and you have been programmed to be ashamed to show the most basic form of your body to people, nudity, and we have to cover it up.

Role playing is always happening, it's happening right now, for example right now I'm playing the role of liberator, and you're playing the role of listener.

Liberation is seeing through the masks, not trying to stop them, nor trying to take the mask off, that isn't possible, if you try doing that you'd be playing another role, the role of removing the mask. It's simply seeing that the mask is just a hologram, it's not true, it's just an act, we're all just acting, none of what we think we are is true.

Illusion is your life as you know it, just as the alarm sets off and you wake up in the morning, you get up, get dressed, put your suit on, all ready to play the role of whatever your job is, after that's done, you might be having a boys night out, you wear your social mask, that huge fake smile, acting out, constantly.

The mechanism happens at home as well, whatever action you think you are doing is just fake.

The mechanism has been designed to survive as long as possible unseen for what it really is, it's the lie, once you are able to see it though (the truth that you don't exist) you'd see the fallacies, the falseness of it all, but mind you, it's very real, the falseness really does exist.

The labels we use to specify a certain thing is just to help us (the masks) to go about in life, I call the closet a closet just so I know how to refer this geometrical shaped thing that stores my clothes to other people, apply that to every other label we use.

It's to go on with this play, as if we really exist, story after story after story, the story is a story with a false content, the labels we put onto everything is just the mechanism of the ego to translate everything around "it" into the play language.

That's why a smoker finds it hard to quit, because he has been playing the role of "smoker" for quite a while now, and he doesn't want to let go of that act.

It's the mechanism of ego that's playing itself out, and the fact is there is nothing behind the masks we call selves, there is nothing controlling the thoughts, we go on through life, a fallacy after another, but what is the purpose? we ask, what is the meaning to all this?

The meaning is whatever the ego labels as meaning, because defining a meaning is just part of the story aint it?

The role of seeker, the role of lover, the role of friend, the role of drug addict, the role of child abuser, the labels, the attachments, they're all false, just part of the play we call Life.

Seeing the role playing as just role playing is freedom from suffering.

First, see the truth that there is no you in existence.

Second, see the truth from the fallacies, what is true is true, truth can't be something 1 second and be something else the other, truth is infinite.

All else is a lie, a mask, an illusion, call it whatever you want to call it.

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Friday, 9 September 2011

It's Just a Story

People have been making up imaginary stories for pretty much their whole lives, they make up stories that and believe them, without proof and without testing that through direct experience.

When people seek enlightenment, they think it's something weird, something that requires a special ability that no ordinary human has.

Quite on the contrary the only ability it requires is checking whether something exists or not, and it's an ability that every person has, except if that person was mentally retarded.

Everything that's set as a belief or concept in your life is not true, it only exists as a belief or concept, they have no substance in reality, other than the making of an imaginary story.

It's the story we have all accommodated to, this play of life that is unfolding every single waking moment, shaped out by our beliefs, thoughts and concepts.

There is no experience other than the experience of this body, of this mind and it's interaction with everything else.

What does the brain do? the brain unfolds the experience of reality, rather than there being complete nothingness. It translates what comes in through the five sense into thoughts that create an imaginary story called the story of "your" life.

You can't stop thought, there is no you controlling thought hence there is no "thing" creating this story, the belief that there is something creating this story is a belief, an illusion (imagination) that is part of the imaginary story.

What is liberation?

Seeing the story as it is, just a story.

All concepts and beliefs are just added layers to reality that are not true, mere abstractions, you can't grab a belief, you can't physically see nor physically (directly) experience a belief or concept, it's simply not possible, see for yourself.

There is no you in reality but still the brain pops up thoughts about one, I've tried it, I used to think that since I'm liberated these thoughts would suddenly disappear.

I have to admit that was really stupid.

I would be deluded to think that I can stop thought, there is no me to stop thought, since the thought of me stopping thought is just another thought about me.

But that's all it is, a thought, it doesn't really exist, it's just an imaginary story that plays out itself in life.

What's different now, is that things are really getting clearer, and all of the beliefs and concepts are being seen for what they really are, and all the beliefs I've held dearly and helplessly for my whole life are just appearing for what they really are.. An illusion.

Illusions do exist, they are very real, in fact, you can't stop illusion, if you think you can just snap your fingers and stop beliefs and concepts from popping up, then the truth is you are very deluded, you can't stop thought, you can't stop belief. You just see it for what it is, then it loses it's power, you then see reality, you are then free.

I want you to drop this term "enlightenment", I want you to see the reality of this, I want you to see that these words that you are reading right now are just translated into concepts, and they will remain concepts until you directly engage in reality, if you open your eyes and see the thought for what it is.

Life just is, it's the flow of this play, this play of life that's existing as an illusion, it's not hard to see that, it's just a play, and that character/personality that was labeled as you, what is that really? could it be just a fantasy? An illusion? That there was actually never a me? this was all just imagination?

Yes it was, and you will never be free until you find that out for yourself through direct experience.

Why do you suffer? because you think that illusion has substance, you think you exist, but the truth is that there was only the set of thoughts called you, but never an actual present "you"..

It's like when your playing a game, and you are so immersed in that game that you think it's actually happening, like when your character dies you think you've actually lost something in real life, but you haven't, it's just a game.

It's the same thing with belief, the belief of you is just a belief, suffering happens when you mistake that belief for actuality, you think that that belief is what is really happening, but it's not, there is nothing happening, it's all in your head.

Enlightenment doesn't stop the play, enlightenment puts you back to your natural state of seeing that it's just a play, experience doesn't suddenly stop, it never does, because that's how it's always been, and the play will keep on going.

Enlightenment/truth will stay as in illusion in your mind until you drop the bullshit and actually see the illusion.

Drop the belief that you have any substance in reality, you never did exist, all that ever existed was the idea of what it would be like if you did exist, and the reality of the matter is that you don't.

And as long as you turn your back on truth and act as if it isn't there, it'll keep slapping you in the face like a bitch, because it's the only thing worth seeing, truth.

Denial never did you any good? Did it?

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Wednesday, 31 August 2011

It's What They Call "Consciousness"

You listen to all these spiritual gurus and most of what they talk about is the unified field of consciousness and that enlightenment is achieving cosmic oneness, bla bla bla...

Enlightenment is normal, it doesn't make you reach a divine state or anything, it's just seeing it the way it's always been, you know, just being honest.

Liberation to me has been very liberating indeed, it woke me up to reality, and ever since liberation there has been constant questioning of beliefs, every belief that arises there is an urge to find out whether the belief is true or not.

Turns out there is no such a thing as a belief actually existing in reality, it's just an added layer, just a story we play out, and there is no reason, no purpose for that story, since the purpose is just an added layer we add on top of what's really there.

There is no believer, just a generated belief.

Once you see that beliefs, concepts and ideas are just added layers on top of reality, shows the real fiction that exists as part of reality, fiction exists as fiction, reality exists just as reality.

It's just seeing the fiction as fiction, that's really liberating.

But a thought kept on popping up, the mind trying to "work out" what consciousness really is.

What I know for sure is what I am directly experiencing in life at this present moment, anything other than that is a real fiction created by the brain adding a fictional layer upon reality, the body reacts to the fiction if the belief is thought of as reality, which is limiting.

There is nothing other than this, cause let's face it, you cannot prove that anything exists other than what the body is aware of.

But awareness/consciousness has become overrated, and all the fucked up ways of talking about consciousness makes it seem as if it's something surreal, when actually it's not, it's pretty basic and normal.

What consciousness really is is your direct experience of life, since nothing other than that exists, you may have thoughts of something existing outside of it, but that is just a blind belief isn't it?

Don't take my word for it, is there anything being experienced other than what's being experienced right here right now?

The mind labeling, the existence of the five senses reflecting reality, the thoughts, the fictions, the beliefs, the concepts, everything, is being directly experienced now.

And nothing exists outside of the existence, it's impossible for something to exist outside of existence except non-existence, "the un-manifasted"

"There is only one consciousness" "life experiencing itself" what all that really means is that there is nothing outside your direct experience of life, there is no you, no other people, concepts are just additional layers added to reality, it's the minds made up story and it reacts to it automatically.

Now you won't be able to get this conceptually, if you think you've understood it, then your turning it into another belief, another real fiction.

You are already directly experiencing life, but it's not you, it's life, so there is nothing but life, directly experiencing life, right here, right now.

There is no purpose to it, there is no meaning, there is no cause, there is no good, bad, beginning, end, past, future, concepts just don't exist in reality, it's impossible, and check it for yourself, It's really freeing.

Stop reading those fucking books, stop feeding the idea of this, the idea of enlightenment, the idea of consciousness, stop feeding the idea, and look at reality, which is this present moment, right here, right now.

There is no you, just the concept of you.
There is no us, no them, just the concept of us, just the concept of them.
There is no cause, no beginning, no end, just the concepts.
There is no time, only the concept of it.
There is nothing but existence.

Life being what it already is, and it can't be conceptualized.

So how do you free yourself from the lie?

Just see if there is anything other than the experience, there is no experience-er, just the experience of the concepts that assume the existence of an experience-er.

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Wednesday, 24 August 2011

Welcome To The Real World

You can't deny that you've felt like something's wrong with the world, like Morpheus said in the matrix film it feels like "a splinter in your brain". Something is not right and it's causing you unwanted pain and misery that you can't seem to get rid of.

You are living a lie, you live in a world enslaved by belief and superstition, how many times have you seen people helplessly put there hands out praying to the sky, hoping that there would be a savior, a savior that would free them from their misery.

It's ironic really.

There is no savior, nobody can help you, because that is the problem, the problem of belief, the belief of self.

Now I invite you to take a look at reality, and it's right here, you don't have to go anywhere, you don't have to open a book or go search for it, reality is already happening now.

I want you to open your eyes, I want you to wake up. And it's not gonna be a happy trip.

It's just that, you have been a slave to belief your whole life, a slave to what you think is right and wrong, a slave to society and a slave to religion.

Don't you think it's enough? Don't you think it's time you saw the truth? Don't you think it's time to live honestly and truthfully?

If you really want this, I'll help you see it.

Forget what you've been told, I am inviting you to use your own eyes, your own experience to see what is real and what isn't.

The person that is reading this right now is not an actual person, that's just a lie.

It's a brain, connected to a body, and that brain projects images and visualizations called thoughts. The body is directly engaging reality through the five senses, the brain interprets the senses and projects a model of what is being experienced in order to function.

The brain uses labels (also projections) to make sense out of what's going on, to make sense of the input, and automatically projects the model (output) which suits best.

Take the reading of these words as an example, the eyes "see" the words automatically producing the input as electrical signals sent to the brain, the brain interprets these signals, and labels them accordingly in order to "make sense" out of them, creating the "understanding" of these words as a projected model for what is there.

Now that happens not only when reading, it is happening all of the time, when your at work, when you go for a jog in the morning, when you look at anything anywhere, the mind just labels, categorizes, stores, just to add to it's gigantic library of information called "knowledge".

That's where labeling comes from, and a label in itself is just a layer added on top of what really is there, and that's ok as long as the thing being labeled exists.

Now imagine the cookie monster.

What happened here is that the brain projected an image of what the cookie monster might look like, the brain doesn't know for sure what the cookie monster is, because the cookie monster does not exist in reality, it's just a label that doesn't belong to an actual thing, that's what's called "imagination".

The input the brain had in order to project an image of the cookie monster was not a direct experience of the actual cookie monster, but the input were these words "now imagine the cookie monster."

And that is what belief is all about, trying to make sense out of shit that doesn't really make sense.

Take the belief of God for example, anything about god only exists in your imagination, since there was never a direct experience of god, therefore "God" is a label for something that doesn't really exist, it's just an imagination.

When the brain blindly "assumes" that God exists, and believes that assumption, then that belief is treated as if it has some real substance in reality, as if it is as real as what is directly experienced at the moment.

It's these blind assumptions that are the basis of delusion, and the cause of unwanted misery and helplessness, since you can never control your thoughts, you can never control these labels that just pop up, you can only honestly look at a belief and see whether it has an real substance to it in reality or not.

The self is a belief adapted by humanity for some reason since history began, and it has never been questioned, if you look at this honestly, you will see that the self has no basis in reality whatsoever, it's just the imagination of the brain, it's just the brain endlessly trying to label something that doesn't exist.

The thought or label called (you) exists, but the question is, does the thing being labeled exist in reality?

Or was that all just imagination? Just mere speculation?

Now that's enlightenment for you.

Welcome to the real world ;)

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Saturday, 6 August 2011


Now this subject is something that is a cause of fear for a big lot of people, most of them don't know what's going to happen, others create fancy stories about what might happen about death, and others ofcourse, depend on religion to give them the answers to their questions regarding death.

You have to remember that the lie is a well developed mechanism, it has to survive so it hates the idea of death, the idea that there will be a time when there will be absolutely nothing, nothing at all, and that shit scares you, scares the lie, you are afraid of death, you are afraid of truth.

You might be wondering how come I am relating death with truth, well because of the simple fact that death is a symbol for non-existence, and non-existence means the same with you, so in other words, you are afraid of death, because you are afraid of the truth, and that truth is that you don't exist.

It's not only about death mind you, it's not the only thing you are afraid of, you are afraid of many things also, but death is a major thing you tend to avoid, you hate looking it in the eye, because actually looking at it in the eye would mean the end of you, there is no you, you never existed, it's that realisation, and death reminds you that there is no such thing as a you living.

Actually death reminds us that nobody really is alive, there is just life, but no actual people that live, death is truth, because if you look at it, there is just life living, and nobody is alive to experience it.

There is just the experience in the sense that everything happens on its own, life exists, life is existant now, but there is nothing that is outside of it, whatever would be thought of as outside of life is non-existant.

Death is scary because it's the death of an idea you've hold on to so long in your life, you are afraid to face the fact that there is nothing there, there is nothing inside experiencing what is outside, there is nothing behind the experience experiencing it, it's all been imagination.

Seperation from life is impossible.

You cannot exist.

And you were never alive in order to die, you never existed at all.

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Thursday, 4 August 2011

Knowing Is An Illusion

After being liberated I've always had times when the thoughts of self would take over again, it would be easy to see through though, all it takes is just one look at reality.

I found out though that the sense of self is usually accompanied by a sense of knowing, or certainty.

It's when the mind goes backs into it's old "normal" routine.

When the mind is programmed by a lie for a very long time, it usually takes time till the mind adjusts to reality; it had never had a real glimpse of it before.

But I found a way that could help anchoring people in liberation.

It's seeing through the illusion of knowing, and understanding, since both knowing and understanding are just layers added ontop of what is uknown to the mind, just to give the mind a sense of certainty, so it could start testing shit around.

There is no such thing as certainty, there is no such a thing as knowing.

Did  you know that you were going to the read these words right here at this moment? Did you know that you were going to think this instant thought right now? Do you even know what's going to happen the next second before it actually happens?

Where is certainty?

The mind has a big fear, a fear of uncertainty, mayhem, non-control.

But the reality is, you don't know anything, you don't know anything with 100% certainty.

Because there is no such thing as 100% certainty, there is no such a thing as certainty at all. Check for yourself.

If there was such a thing as knowing, then life would collapse in an instant.

Look at your hands for example, usually when you look at your hands, it's accompanied by a sense of knowing, knowing that this is a hand.

But did you ever know that you were going to to have that sense of "knowing?"

You might of never thought of this, but you would have never known that the hand existed before having a thought that it existed? the knowing of it's existance implies that there was something there before the thought happening that "knew" that it was going to happen.

In actual reality, knowing is nothing, reality is always unfolding in this present moment, and there is no certainty to it, there is nothing behind it, it is happening right now, and the truth is, there is no such a thing as actually knowing why it happens, or how.

So check for yourself, as a thought arises, ask yourself if you ever knew that that thought would arise now, ask yourself if you ever knew that the reading of this words would occur now, ask yourself if you ever honestly knew anything.

For the knowing to exist then the knowing of the knowing must be possible. It isn't. Because you could never have actually known that this sense of knowing would occur.

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Tuesday, 2 August 2011

Everything is NOT ok

I'm jumping headfirst into this.

People are fucked up, alright that's obvious enough.

But what really sickens me are those people that are actually liberated, which means that they are actually free from the human condition, they are free from all the bullshit that enslaved humanity for centuries and millenia.

And what do they do?

They masturbate peace and love all over their sad existence up a mountain top somewhere.

And if they do come down for a day or two, they just talk ABOUT liberation. They don't actually tell you HOW.

You know something, I've always thought that these people had some secrets to tell, and that they were hiding them, as if they knew some secret that could turn a man into God.

Turns out they weren't hiding shit, they just didn't bother.

They found out the key to the end of human suffering, and all they ever did about it was nothing, nothing at all.

Now that's fucked up.

Those people that always talk about how life is all about love, that your real "self" is happiness, innocence. That's really misleading, that is just a load of crap.

Life is not about love.

You gotta be realistic here, because everything is not ok, people are suffering, and they are accepting it, they are imprisoned in chains, and they say that it's "ok".

It's not.

It's not ok to surrounded by lies everywhere, it's not ok to live in a world where people depend on belief rather than truth.

It's not ok to suppress feelings of hatred and anger, just to contribute to the notion of "spreading peace and love everywhere", that's not life.

I mean the people that are dug in so deep in their bullshit that they can't see out yet, at least they have an excuse (they're still douchebags though).

But those who are ACTUALLY free! They just ignore it all, and escape to live in solitude, those are who I hate, with every part of my being, there is nothing from me but pure hate towards them.

Telling unliberated people that everything is ok and that what they are is love and peace, is actually prepetuating the lie, it's blinding them from seeing that they're entrapped in bullshit, it's a lovely pink and fluffy (cool feeling) viel that covers their eyes from truth.

There is no such thing as "only love". No such thing.

Honestly, I have thought about it, I considered just saying "fuck it all" and live my life, and not give a damn about anyone.

But I won't, I can't, I can't just see people living lies all around me and not give a fuck, I can't see people so entrenched in suffering that they can't find a way out and just say "oh well, that's life".


Fuck no.

That shit sickens me, and being liberated doesn't mean that my soul purpose now on earth is to live in exstatic bliss.

It's not something that HAS to happen, no.

This post is a message.

To the unliberated: Liberation is not about love, happinness and constant joy. No, it's about complete honesty, the honesty that cuts through the lies like a razor sharp blade, and leaves nothing but truth, it's about freedom, the words "the truth will set you free" never seemed so truer.

The X that marks the spot are those three words "there's no you".

All it takes is stripping it down to the core, see that there simply is no you, and you're done searching, forever.

To the liberated that don't give a shit: You don't care, you don't give a shit, you prefer to live in standby watching the human race fuck itself over and over again constantly expanding the hell that has become their existence. You are worthless.

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Monday, 1 August 2011

Nothing Other Than Reality

You know when you've just been in a fight, and it feels like the fight still hasn't ended, and the thoughts about the fight consume you so much that you can't think about anything but the fight?

Or when your girlfriend breaks up with you, and after that all you could think of was that, you were so much in your thoughts that you believed they were real.

You believed the thoughts were real.

Once a situation ends, it ends, it has no existence in reality after it ending, what is left though are the body and the thoughts, thoughts are projected from the mind as something real.

The thoughts also give the impression that they are real, and the body has the impression that that is really happening at the present moment.

"He punched me in the face really bad."
"How could she do this to me?"
And so on.

The thoughts give the illusion that they are real so much that they become your reality.

Yes, the thoughts take over, and you can't see anything but these thoughts and you react accordingly.

Ofcourse your gonna read what I say and maybe remember some past experience when that had happened, and start nodding your head agreeing.

But here's your homework:
Check it out in your actual experience of life, when any such a thing happens, see how the thoughts take over, just out of nowhere, and they suddenly become your reality.

I really want you to see this, that thoughts take over, they become the lens in which reality is seen through.

You got into a fight.
The fight ended.

Once the fight ended in reality, there is no fucking fight anymore, no fight, just thoughts that give the illusion that it hasn't ended yet.

Now it just gives the illusion, what it's suggesting is actually false.

This is identical to some other thoughts.

You see some thoughts suggest something that's really happening in reality, and you see whether a thought is true or not by actually looking in reality, see what's actually going on.

The mind likes fucking around.

It's designed that way, it fucks around till it adapts a lense that is suitable for the surrounding environment at the PRESENT MOMENT.

The problem is when the mind really fucks it all up, and makes up shit that really doesn't exist, and believes it's own mess.

What the mind does is that it sketches up it's own model of reality, to test shit, to examine, to theorise, to think of, to understand and whatnot.

 And there's nothing wrong with that, I mean it's cool, that's how mathematics came out, and that's how language, science and technology popped up.

It's the cognitive part of the brain, that works shit out, just as a projection.

It's cool, and it's not disabling, as long as it is seen that it is JUST a PROJECTION.



Things get outa control though.

When the mind believes thoughts (projections), that's where delusion comes in.

It's dishonesty, honesty is the same as truth, the same way that truth is the same as reality. If you are currently believing the false projected model of reality that the mind has produced as real. Then you are dishonest, deluded and a slave.

I'm not pointing fingers here, I'm just being honest.

And anyways check for yourself, who knows, I might be phschitzophranic.

As you blindly believe the false reality that's being projected by the mind, your view of reality is obscured, you don't really see well.

You are not actually sane.

Whatever the mind throws you attach yourself to it and believe it so much that it becomes everything. It gives the illusion that it has actually become your reality.

Concepts seem so real.
Beliefs seem so real.
Thought in general seems so real.

They're not really. They are just models, I repeat, models of reality.

Scraped and sculptured masterfully.

A mastered illusion. A fake reality.

Liberation is seeing through all of that, seeing through the illusion of the mind. You could call it "Maya" or whatever, I really don't know what they call it these days. I honestly don't give a fuck though.

So how do you see through the illusion?

It's no rocket science really, there is no "mysticism" in it. It is a not a supernatural power to be able to see through illusion.

Thoughts are always being projected, as long as you are conscious the mind is always at work.

Just test the thought. The best label I would be able to put right now to describe the process is mental strip searching.

If what the thoughts points to is true it would point to something that actually exists in reality.

If what they point to however doesn't exist in reality, then the thoughts are false, and they are only there in consciousness just for the sake of being there, nothing more, nothing less.

Now you gotta be really ruthless with this, because you are already assuming shit without noticing it.

You gotta be completely honest about your assumptions, you already have many assumptions about life.

You may assume that life is seperate, that some things are independent on other things and don't depend on anything in their external environment.

The same assumptions of there being seperate entities living seperate lives.

Beliefs, assumptions. The list goes on and on till who knows when.

You test these assumptions, you strip search them for truth. Is there such a thing as seperate lives?

In your current reality, is there anything other than this present moment? Is there such a thing as something existing outside it?

The situation humans are now in is the belief of blind assumptions like that.

Thought usually implies that there is something outside this current moment, something MORE, the mind always thinks there is something more.

But is that true?

Test it, I'm not doing your homework for you, I'm not feeding you this, I'm teaching you how to fish.

So don't take what I say as truth, you have to see truth for yourself, in your eyes, because truth is right here.

Moving on.

There is an assumption that there is some entity behind this body experiencing the thoughts and having a personal experience with everything around it.

The very same assumption assumes that it exists and therefore hopelessly clings on to anything actually real and attaches the label of "self" to it in order to give the sense of reality needed to create an illusion.

Now is that true?

Is there something actually behind this doing this? Or is this just an illusion.

Do you exist? Or are you just a belief?

You know something, you can always turn your back and swim in your ocean of bullshit.

But reality will eventually smack you out of it.

It's now or never.

Break the chains.

Be free.

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Thursday, 28 July 2011

Getting there

Seeking enlightenment many people see it as something that you reach, as if you are going to get somewhere.

Now this is not what enlightenment is about, actually it is just a projection of the person's hopeless anxiety and unfulfillment in life, always wanting to "get there".

The thought of "getting there" is in fact running after one of the many projections of the mind, you can't get there, because the "there" is something you made up, so you will never find it in reality.

It's like you're hungry, you imagine a pancake that's "over there", and start running after it, as if there really is a pancake.

No matter how much you run towards it, the pancake will always be "over there", because there really is no pancake, you just projected an imaginary object to move towards.

In reality there is no such thing as "getting there", because there is nothing but what's here!

That's why people are never satisfied, they always have to reach something, whatever they do they would never have quiet reached it.

A big source of anxiety and depression is not accepting what is already here, because here is the only reality there is, there is no such a thing as "there", that's just an illusion, there is nothing to reach, there is nothing to pursue, there is only what is here.

Always denying what's here and instead hoping for a better "there" is quiet stupid, and unrealistic.

The only thing there is is what's here.

You can't "reach" liberation, it's not a goal.

The only reality is what is here, that's the only reality there is, don't look for anything "else" because there is no such thing as something outside what's here now.

Liberation is here and now. Reality is here and now.

Look around you, is there anything outside of this?

Where are your goals?

Where is your self?

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Monday, 25 July 2011

Concepts and Reality

You are always thinking, thinking about alot of shit, you can never stop thinking, thought leads to other thought, like a chain reaction, there is no such thing as complete control of thoughts, since that in itself is just another thought.

I have talked in this blog alot about the self, and how it never did exist in reality, it's just an imaginary concept that took over the mind for some reason, I really don't know what the reason really is, it just happened though.

Now you can look at the concept of self, just as a concept, meaning that there is no actual self in reality. So we got that covered.

Look at other selves as well, there is no such thing as an other, since that is also just a concept,  a concept of "him/her" there is no actual him or her, since all you see in real life is just a complex organism that reacts to the environment and adapts accordingly. There is nothing in there doing anything, that's just an imagination.

The thing here is that the conceptual mind needs an x in order to prove a y, as in if there never was an x, then there would never be a y based upon that x.

There is no you, but in order for the lie of you to keep on growing it needs a concept of "other" in order to survive as a thought.

But there is no you, how can there be an "other"? There is no self anywhere, there is nothing that owns anything, nothing that owns a self, there is no such thing, it is all just a fallacy.

This is what caused many conflictis throughout the ages, the reason for war and selfish destruction, was due to the blind belief in the self and the "other", or in other words, "me vs them".

Many leaders believed that there is such a thing as a self "owning" something, but can't you see the stupidity in that?

The mind always categorises shit, like little files in the mind, but that is all it is, it is not something that's actually existant.

That's what gives the illusion of seperation, it's categorization, "this is mine" "I own this".

There is no you to own anything, there is no such thing as owning, everything happens on it's own, I'll say it again.

There is no you to own anything.

So what does this false belief lead to? a combination of "This is mine" and "He is trying to take what's mine away from me" causes fear.

What's the fear coming from?

Fear of the death of an idea, the idea just wants to survive, wants to live as long as it can, it will die eventually.

It's just an idea though. Funnily enough you really look, all it is is just an idea.

This is also the start of inferiority complexes, feeling that there is a "you" that's inadequate, that there is always something that you should do to be better than "others", you gotta show off, you gotta prove that the idea exists, the idea wants to take over.

There is no such thing as a self, it's just an idea that thinks it's the self.

So when the idea is prone to danger of being exposed as just an idea, it starts defending itself, the body instantly believes the mind, therefore the body reacts accordingly, causing stress, unneeded anger, and hopeless anxiety.

The idea has to defend itself from any "other" it has to reach something, it has to do shit, it has to "get better grades" it has to "do better in work" it has to "give a good impression to friends" it has to "act in a way that fits society".

But that's really stupid you know, it's all just a lie, when you really look you'll see that there is no such thing as a self, and that all that anger, anxiety and depression wasn't really needed, since it was just an idea, an idea about something that never even did exist in reality, it was just false, it never existed, really.

So why do people keep on holding on false beliefs and always try to defend what really isn't there?

Why do you defend what isn't really there? Isn't that pathetic?

And you always get ideas about society, what society is like, but guess what, there is no such thing as a living "society", there is just life living itself, humans that live in an environment and adapt accordingly.

Somewhere along a way ideas pop up from the mind, they are believed as true and forced into the minds of many "others" building up the idea of society.

So you are in chains with that idea, trying to live up accordingly to that idea, but that's all it is, an idea.

The building up of the concept of self has enslaved humanity, there is no thing inside that does shit, I mean for fucks sakes, just look and see for yourself.

There are lots and lots of ideas and concepts that have popped up out of no where and were blindly assumed as true without the natural process of questioning.

Now drop your selfishness, drop the need of trying to be better than everyone else, and actually look.

If you really give a fuck about others, you are not actually doing that, what you are doing is blindly worshipping an idea, thinking it exists.

There is no other people, there are just humans, these humans do shit, the same way a river flows, but they assume that there is "something" that is "doing it".

Same as you, you are just an idea.

There is no such thing as a society, there is such thing as other people, there is no such thing as you, no such thing as him.

Look at reality and actually see this, see the way thought masks everything up into an imaginary belief.

Question everything to the core, if you are really honest, and you give a fuck, you'd do that.

If you are thinking that you still got prove something to someone, than you could go suck a cock for all I care.

You are living a lie, now fucking look at reality.

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Sunday, 17 July 2011

Liberation Is Not An Escape

Many people (If not all of them) come towards liberation as if it is something that will give them superpowers, make them gods, and live in peace and happiness for their whole lives.

Now that doesn't seem like reality to me, liberation is all about reality, seeing reality, and the truth, and it is pretty darn obvious that living in a state of constant bliss is not how reality is obviously.

What liberation does though, is give you clarity and get you real.

Since it is just seeing life, seeing the illusion that the thoughts produce, that is liberation, it is not something supernatural, or something "beyond"

It's actually nothing like that at all, it is seeing reality as it always has, it is something very simple.

All it takes is to just look at reality, search for a self everywhere, you will never find it, not even in this, now.

Seeing that illusion of the self as it is, is what is freeing, since there is no self to "do" anything, that self never did exist.

There was always just life, living, that's all, there was no you in any of that, and there is no you now.

Liberation is freedom, freedom to "be".

Now the one of the major things that stop people from actually getting liberated, is the expectation of something, expecting something extraordinary to happen, like suddenly waking up to find yourself floating on a cloud or something like that.

Well that doesn't happen, really.

There is just great clarity, and freedom, it's hard to describe, but what I am sure of is that it's nothing "extraordinary", as a matter of fact, it is the most natural and simple state.

One positive thing to do is to drop your expectations on liberation, that will distract you from actually being liberated, instead of expecting what the peak of the mountain will be like, look now, you don't have to reach there, it already IS.

You never did exist, it was all just a fallacy, an imagination of the mind, there is no such thing as a "me" and no such thing as a "you".

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Friday, 15 July 2011

Truth and Freedom

I used to always think that life needed changing, I always focused on the wrong things.

You see, I'm not superman, I'm just a normal guy, normal life, nothing amazing about me at all, just being honest here, it is just knowing the truth, seeing it that sucked that illusion into nothingness.

I hate philosophy, fuck philosophy.

I was 13, I guess, I really can't remember when this was, there was this thing in me, something that I couldn't point at, something burning inside, something's not right, something's missing, there something I hadn't reached yet, something that was yearning to be discovered yet it never pointed at what to discover.

God? I had my doubts, actually, I stoped beleiving in an imaginary entity up in the sky that's watching everything everybody does, that seeks to be loved, that seeks to care this second and fuck everything up the next. Yeah seriously, that started to show itself up as a big illusion.

Beleiving in an illusion makes you feel safe, but yeah, that's just a false sense of safety, cause it's just the illusion that's giving you safety.

There is no such thing, there is no such thing as one, and that's what started it all, it's just seeing through an illusion, that makes you discover more shit, that there are still more illusions to see through, but there was still something I wasn't seeing.

There was this illusionary gap in me, I had to find something, that something that never showed up, shit man, it fucked me up, it fucked me up so bad, I can't bother to remember it, it was fucked up.

God was a big belief, I saw the illusion of it.

But that wasn't the end.

Something was still leading me on, and I felt like I could never rest until this feeling went, it kept me going, trying to find something, trying to find truth.

I could never find truth anywhere, just surrounded by lies, even if I found something that resonated within me, just would discover later that it was a lie in disguise, just something that fucked it all up more.

Idk about the rest of the world, but living in Egypt, it's really hard to find truth, there are just people everywhere that don't give a fuck about anything, except on shit that doesn't matter. You just got people programmed, yeah, just programmed to do shit, they don't know why they do it, they just make up a reason, and go on with it, like it really matters.

I come from a really protective family, I never was able to be indpendent, unless I fought for it, I don't know why I was fighting, I just kept on fighting, for something I didn't know at the time existed or not.


I didn't give a shit about anything, I just had to know, know what? I don't know, but just reach the point where I can see truth shining at my face, smiling at me, then I knew I'd be at peace, then I knew I'd be sane.

So I gave up the false sense of security that came from beleiving in god, and boy was that a tough ride, coming from a religious background and society, that made me an outcast.

I stumbled upon spiritualityy, the spiritual realm and the things thought of as "beyond" reality, or so I thought anyway.

I spent most of my time in that shit, for 3 years I was doing spiritual meditations.

Sure it was great, but it fucked me up more, it somehow opened my mind to stuff I don't think is easy to handle, and it can't be expressed in words, most of that shit can't be expressed in words, language just dresses it up into something that it really isn't.

 And fuck, I gave up so many times, so fucking many times, and each time it felt like there is really no such thing as truth, there is no hope in anything, and that this is how it's always going to be.

But that never felt right.

I thought drugs where the solution, seeing that drugs can stop your thinking for a while, shut up all those thoughts in you're brain that drive you insane.

I was escaping, escaping something, and the funny thing is that I never knew what I was escaping, reality? I don't think I knew what reality was at the time, I was just escaping my own thoughts, I was escaping my own fucking thoughts, how pathetic.

But reality keeps on knocking on your front door, telling you its there, telling you you're making a total fool outa yourself, you're just making this all up, you're just making all this pain, misery, up.

Yes, I was.

Cause when I quit, it just showed that it was this sweet well built cover up to you're thoughts, it's like you have this river of thought, you build a blockade and you think that the water's gone, cause you're living on the other side of the blockade.

Once the blockade just collapses, the water comes rushing in, floods of water everywhere, drowning you.

That river is reality.

But I couldn't stare reality at the face, I was just too scared, I went back to believing in god again, thinking that that was the solution.

"I have sinned, forgive me, save me"

But you can just follow the herd for so long, till you discover that the herd is fucked up, the herd is just a slavery program, the herd is just an idea, the herd is just something to cover up what's really there.

There is no herd, just the imagination of one.

Just an excuse to live in a fuckin misery.

Just a way so the lie you really are can live.

But It all came down to this question
"Who am I?" "What am I"

Now this question drove me crazy.
Doesn't it drive you crazy?

You go through shit, you look in the face of a lie your hole life till you beleive you are it.
You cry, you hurt, you get hurt, you fuck, you get fucked.
But then at the end of the day it all comes down to this one single fucking question.
"Who the fuck am I?!"

Buddhism, yeah, they got the answer. I mean, all those hairless monks that sit around doing nothing but meditate on nothing and do nothing, well they surely would have a reson for that, maybe they knew truth.

But they just blab on on a bunch of shit that you wouldn't really understand, only they could, which is fucking frustrating, it makes me sick, just vomit on their useless existence.

They know the truth but they're to fuckin lazy to point at it, they just want to tell you how cool it is.

I never understood their shit, it made no fuckin sense, and seriously, if you were ever in my place, and read it, never understood it, it's not you're fault, it's just that they're a bunch of retards, really, them knowing truth doesn't make them gods, actually they're worthless, they're just peices of scum on earth.

Alright so fuck you buddhists.

Next thing.

And this one is what fucked me up the most.

"Life is just an illusion!"

Wohoooo, so that's it yeah? yeah I've been looking for ages for truth and that's what you come up with? "Life is just an illusion"

But yeah, since I was dying for truth, anything credible I found in my way I tested it, I took it to the ground, I lived with it whether it was right or wrong, to find out for myself whether it was true or not.

Now this doesn't prove anything, it just means I wanted it, I wanted it more than anything.

I lived with that concept for quite a while, that life was just an illusion, that nothing was real, and for a moment that felt like it made sense.

Yeah it did.

But that bugger of a feeling was still there, saying that I hadn't seen truth yet, I hadn't reached it, I hadn't gotten it.

Cause when I get smacked in the face, I know it's real, when I jump from the 3rd floor, I'd feel it.

Pain is a reminder that it's not an illusion.
And if pain exists, then life does.

Alright, what's next on the list.

2 years ago I stumbled up a self improvement site of Steve Pavlina's.

Now he had this thing he called Subjective Reality, where everything is a dream, including yourself, and that what you are is actually the dreamer of the dream.

And at that point you are not identified with the body, you are identified with the dream world as a whole, because everything in it is you, you're thoughts.

Well that proves what people mean when they say "you are consciousness" you are "all that is" that you are "nothing but everything at the same time"

Alright so I read that, I wouldn't prove it wrong just yet, I had to experience it, I had to put myself deep in it, I had to know if that was the truth or not, or whether it's just a bunch of bullshit.

So what I did is that I assumed it was true, until something came up to prove it wrong, then I'd just drop the whole thing all together.

Did that, seeing life as a dream, I am the dreamer of the dream.

Then it seemed like it made sense, it seemed like this might be the actual truth, although how absurd it may sound, it seemed like that is what it really is.

I had this moment where I completely zenned out, it was a moment where I believed that I was in heaven, that I had finally reached truth.

Everything made sense, and that there is just the dream.

But that faded away quickly though.

I never had that feeling again, therefore the analogy of life as a dream and that you are a dreamer is false, and that it is not the actual truth, but it is so damn close to it.

And that was it, I thought to myself, that I would die for the truth, I would be willing to give up everything, even my family, everything, if truth meant that I would kill myself to find it then that is what I was willling to do.

But I had to test all that could possibly tested out first.

And only when there is no other way but finding out what truth is, I would kill myself, just to find out.

That's how much I wanted it.

There was no turning back, that was an impossible choice, that I would have never took, I could never even look back, I was in a state that there was no possiblity, just a mind set to find one thing.

And that is fucking truth.



Now while I was browsing through some forums, I found a site linking to the ruthless truth blog site.

I was lead to the Brutal Beginnings ebook that's linked on this blog, you HAVE to check it out. Or die.

And I watched the video, it made me smile.
I just knew right then, that is what I was lookin for.
The video was just leakin of truth.

There is no self.

That's it, that's truth, there is no self.

That seemed fuckin insane, but it felt so right at the same time.

But I still hadn't fully dived deep into it before I could say it was true or false, so that's just what I did. I read the Brutal Beginnings book, requested posting rights for the arena. It was time I was free. And that was the place that would know how to point me to freedom.

So I did it, I went into the arena, and exposed myself, and at the same time really looked at it, looked at it, where is the self?

The body? no, the body lives, the body exists, there is nothing controlling it, the mind/body ornganism is fully functional and "I" have nothing to do with it.

The thoughts? The thoughts exist, the thoughts exist and the thoughts contained loads of shit, I can't control thoughts, the thoughts exist and are created regardless of "me"

Consciousness? what do "I" have to do with consciousness? I mean consciousness just is, there is consciousness but there is no "me" doing it. I mean that even sounds wrong.

Then fuck.

You know, it really is weird, that "fuck" moment.

You realised the biggest illusion that you have overlooked your whole life

Then I remembered that moment when I zenned out on the concept of life as a dream and me being a dreamer.

It wasn't because I thought life was a dream or that I was the dreamer.

It was cause at that moment there was nothing but life, me being a dreamer implied that I am not in life, that I have to not exist to be a dreamer.

The realization that I don't exist, and that everything else exists, is just so freeing, it's just so freeing that you could never understand it.

You had to experience it.

Everything came to place.
The search was over.

There was never such a thing as "me" to wonder whether I exist or not, I just never existed, that's why it felt wrong.

That's the feeling that was fucking me up, and it was that simple.

That was what it was all about.

I don't exist, life does, everything does, I don't, it's just this, it's just what is here now. Life is not a dream, life is something that you cannot just label, because there is no such thing as "you and life" there is just life.

It all is in perfect place right now.

But I'm ending this bullshit, I am giving people the end result, I am giving them the end, and the destruction of the illusion of search.

You don't exist, really, you don't.

You never did.

Freedom baby ;)

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Wednesday, 13 July 2011


There is nothing but the present moment, what is here, what is now.

Everything other than what is here and now is just the projection of the mind, it has no existence except as a projection, and nothing but that.

The past is a projection, it is real now only as a projection, but it is not apparent in actual reality.

You cannot prove the existence of anything outside this present moment, the thought rises now is only real now, when the next thought is experienced however, the thought before it does not exist.


"There" is an illusion, there is no place to reach, that is just a projection, there is only now, there cannot be anything else but now, the physical reality which is experienced now, there is just nothing else. Nothing.

The self cannot exist now, since the self is a combination of the past, future. But there is no past, there is no future, there is only the thought of one, a thought that suggests one, but in actual reality, there is just here, there is just now.

Nothing outside it, actually there is nothing but it, it is what IS.

Anything other than it is a projection. In actual reality it is simply nothing.

Not the concept of nothing, just nothingness.


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Monday, 11 July 2011

First liberation :)

    • Hi, are you there?
  • Sebastián Hoch
    14 hours ago
    • can I talk to you for a sec?
  • Kareem Zidan
    5 hours ago
    Kareem Zidan
    • Sure, what's up?
  • Sebastián Hoch
    3 hours ago
    • are you there now? I hate this new chat
  • Kareem Zidan
    2 hours ago
    Kareem Zidan
    • Yeah I'm here
  • Sebastián Hoch
    2 hours ago
    • two days ago I stumbled upon your blog, somehow... and I've been wandering about what you said (I also got into ruthless truth)
  • Kareem Zidan
    2 hours ago
    Kareem Zidan
    • You can send me messages while I'm offline
    • same here
  • Sebastián Hoch
    2 hours ago
    • I can understand what you say... I can intellectually understand it, and share it... but I haven SEEN it... I've only seen it intellectually, but not really seen it... do you understand what I'm saying?
    • haven't*
  • Kareem Zidan
    2 hours ago
    Kareem Zidan
    • Yeah, I understand
    • Look, it's really simple than you think
    • Look at reality, is there a you anywhere?
  • Sebastián Hoch
    2 hours ago
    • only in my mind... I mean, there is a self conciousness.. that's the only "me" I can recognize... my conciousness... the rest is only accumulation of experiences, knowledge, memories, etc
  • Kareem Zidan
    2 hours ago
    Kareem Zidan
    • You are really close man, it is actually just consciousness, there is no self to be consciousness of, there is just consciousness of the body, of the experience, but where is the "you" in that?

      There is no "you" in any of that.
      Come'on man, see it.
  • Sebastián Hoch
    2 hours ago
    • I'm struggling with the "me" that makes decisions... when I decide to go outside for a walk, or play guitar... what is that "me" that decides? it decides with autonomy... it decides without help from anyone else... only my individuality intervenes... isn't that some kind of "me"?
  • Kareem Zidan
    2 hours ago
    Kareem Zidan
    • Thoughts just rise man, thoughts appear, decisions appear.
      there is a thought of reading this at the moment, there is no "you" that's making that happen, it just happened, there is no cause.

      The weather might be nice today, the thought of going out for a walk appears, there is no "you" in that, it all just happens, with no cause causing it.

      There is nothing that "decides" there is just thoughts of decision that rise, it's not "you" that's making the decision, it's just a decision, that came up out of nowhere.

      Individuality, everything that has ever been experienced will always be there, but you have never experienced a you have you? how can it be there then?
  • Kareem Zidan
    2 hours ago
    Kareem Zidan
    • There is just life man, there is no "you" vs "me" that's not real, there is just life, being, that's all, that's all it ever was.
  • Sebastián Hoch
    2 hours ago
    • I think I'm getting it... so, even if I suddenly stop reading at the middle of a sentence, it's not me deciding "I'm going to stop now", but it just comes to be by itself... everything just comes upon, and then we add our sense of decision/control...

      because I really did stop reading at the middle of a sentence, to check if I could... and I did stop there, feeling that I had decided to stop... and then I continued... it felt like me in control... but, in reality, it just arose
  • Sebastián Hoch
    2 hours ago
    • it's very hard to see it because my thoughts get in-between... they are too deep in my head and they intervene with everything... I need some sense of quietness in my head to see this, I think...
    • what about when I decide to tap my desk once, then twice, then once, then stop (I did it right now trying to see a "me")... those thoughts didn't come to my head, I produced them out of trying to find a "me" able to do something for myself... I tapped my desk with my fingers... do you think that came to me? or I did it?
  • Kareem Zidan
    2 hours ago
    Kareem Zidan
    • You didn't do it, it happened.

      Thoughts rise, thoughts are real, but you are not thoughts, you don't create them, try to think "what is the next thought that's gonna come into my head?" You want be able to, for the simple fact that "you" is just a thought that doesn't exist in reality.

      The thoughts "I am" suggest that there is a thinker, I do-er, a person living life.

      But look at life, look at reality man, you simply don't exist in reality.

      "do you think that came to me? or I did it?"
      There is no you.
      Nothing comes to "you"
      "you" don't exist.

      You could in the same way tap the desk with your fingers and think santa clause did that, but look at reality, there is no santa clause you just imagined one.

      In the same way, you don't exist, you just imagined a self that did that.
  • Sebastián Hoch
    about an hour ago
    • I feel I'm so so so close, but not there yet... I can fully understand what you're saying... I can see the truth of it... I just haven't realized it mentally and actively... it comes and goes... I understand it but I haven't abandoned my "selfness" yet... but I think I'm really close... I need a final push and I'll be there
  • Sebastián Hoch
    about an hour ago
    • rather than understand it through thoughts, I should ignore thoughts and only see what it IS
  • Kareem Zidan
    about an hour ago
    Kareem Zidan
    • Yes!

      Fuck, your right there, your on the edge man.

      Don't ignore them, just see them as they are, they are just thoughts, just that man, they don't mean anything, they're just thoughts, they're not "yours" they're just fucking thoughts.

      Come'on man, what the fuck are you expecting? this is nothing supernatural, on the contrary, this is what is natural, this is how it's been for you're whole life since you were born.


  • Kareem Zidan
    about an hour ago
    Kareem Zidan
    • Come on man, what's stopping you from seeing this?
  • Sebastián Hoch
    about an hour ago
    • I wish I knew... I'm trying to see it... see it beyond the verbal understanding... but something isn't letting me... I'm almost there
    • I can clearly see that there is no "me", but an image of me... and that image has been constructed through past experiences, which exist only in my mind... past is a creation of the mind... so that image cannot be real... it's just that, an image...
  • Kareem Zidan
    about an hour ago
    Kareem Zidan
    • There is no "there" it already is, you already don't exist.

      Go on man, this is music to my ears, perfect, go on.
  • Sebastián Hoch
    about an hour ago
    • all the sense of "me" that I have, has been constructed based on the past... but the past is only thought... so, the sense of me is only thought too... past was created by my, and the image of me was derived from that... that means that the image itself was created by me
    • by me*
  • Sebastián Hoch
    about an hour ago
    • there is no me, there only is
      any other feeling of "me" will necessarily be a construction from the pasts experiences of me that I hold in my mind
  • Kareem Zidan
    about an hour ago
    Kareem Zidan
    • Yes man, fucking yes.

      Is there a "you" now in any sense of the word?

      Unleash it, speak it out, I will understand, I promise. Just do your best here.

      For freedom. Do this for freedom.
  • Sebastián Hoch
    about an hour ago
    • I feel there is a "me" in a sense of distinction between what I want, and what other person wants, or thinks... I want to go outside, my sister wants to stay here... there is a distinction between us... I want to do something, she doesn't... there is a "me" wanting that is different from her... but that "me" is just a construction, just an image... a self image, of myself, weird as it sounds...

      the image I have of me was created... the image I have of my sister was created too, and the image she has of herself, and of me, were created to... still, there is a distinction between what I want, and what she wants... there is a difference...
  • Sebastián Hoch
    about an hour ago
    • but that's not really a distinction between me and her... between a "me" and a "her"... it's a distinction between desires, or longings... but not a distinction of "me", and "her"...
    • just as I can have opposing thoughts or desires, I can have opposing thoughts with another person... but there is not a "me" against "you", just a thought against another thought... between myself or between my and another person
    • me and another person*
  • Kareem Zidan
    about an hour ago
    Kareem Zidan
    • Ok man, look.

      There is no "you" there is no "her", there is just life. They are just conflicting thoughts.

      In reality, there is no "you" and "her" that was all made up by the mind.

      Just a projection, that's all it was.

      Now is there a you? don't distract yourself man, there is nothing more important than this, there is nothing more important than freedom, come on.

      I don't want 100% clarity, just be as clear as you can.
  • Kareem Zidan
    about an hour ago
    Kareem Zidan
    • Come on man stop thinking, STOP THINKING AND LOOK AT REALITY.




  • Sebastián Hoch
    about an hour ago
    • I'm sitting in front of the screen, doing nothing else but this...
      but thoughts keep getting in my way and they don't let me see... I'm really trying to SEE it, actually see it... not verbally, not intellectually... but in actual reality... but I'm having a hard time... fucking thoughts get in the way all the time, they distort and condition everything
  • Sebastián Hoch
    about an hour ago
    • I'm fighting with my own head, it's an exhausting and annoying struggle
  • Kareem Zidan
    58 minutes ago
    Kareem Zidan
    • You can't stop thought.

      Look at the thoughts, just let the thoughts go, is there a you in any of the thoughts?

      Is there a you doing ANY of them?

      Is there even a you doing the thought of "no self"?

      Don't fight the thoughts, look at them.
  • Sebastián Hoch
    59 minutes ago
    • they just arise... they suddenly come to be... I'm not producing them, not even one of them...
  • Kareem Zidan
    58 minutes ago
    Kareem Zidan
    • Do you exist?
  • Sebastián Hoch
    57 minutes ago
    • only in my mind
    • only in thought... not in reality
  • Kareem Zidan
    56 minutes ago
    Kareem Zidan
    • Rant about it, show me you've really got it.

      Then we're done.
  • Sebastián Hoch
    49 minutes ago
    • I cannot believe how hard it is to see something... how deeply conditioned we are by thought... I'm still trying to see them arise, but it ends up being a thought watching a thought, instead of me directly watching thoughts
  • Kareem Zidan
    43 minutes ago
    Kareem Zidan
    • There is no you watching thought, thoughts just rise, as part of the experience, you just assumed that there is a you watching them, you assumed that what the thoughts suggested was real.

      There is no you, in anything, there is no you watching thought no you observing, it's all just a lie, it's all just an imagination.

      Do you have any doubts?

      It's best to be honest here.
  • Kareem Zidan
    42 minutes ago
    Kareem Zidan
    • and you also haven't shown me you got it, be clear about this, this is really important.
  • Sebastián Hoch
    41 minutes ago
    • I don't really think I got it... I never did... I think I verbally and intellectually got it, but I haven't REALLY SEEN it... I have no interest in claiming so if it's not true
    • I can clearly understand it all... but I'm still not there... the difference between understanding something, and seeing the truth of something... anyway, I think I'm really really close, but I don't know what to do to get there
    • I feel I'm just one step from it... almost there... but I keep getting in thought games that lead nowhere
  • Kareem Zidan
    33 minutes ago
    Kareem Zidan
    • What are you expecting? Again, this is perfectly normal, this will not introduce you to some supreme powers, this is not something that will make everything turn pink and fluffy and love and peace being all there is for eternity.

      Now this is not somewhere that you have to reach.

      This is simply reality, simply how it has always been, you never existed.

      Seeing it now, looking at reality there is no self, self is just a thought.

      Santa clause is just a thought, does santa clause exist in reality? No, does a self exist in reality? no

      Stop expecting some major transformation, that won't happen.

      You already have everything you need to look, there is nothing to do except look, there is no you anywhere, anywhere at all.
  • Sebastián Hoch
    29 minutes ago
    • I think I got it then... I've read Krishnamurti for a while (I guess you've probably read him)... and I've seen this fact that, the past is not real... the past is a creation of thought... and that past is responsible for fear, desire, etc... as well as the images we have of ourselves and other people... we construct those images from the past, but they are not real... the only real thing is now, what it is... images are not reality, so any sense of self (which HAS to come from an image), is not real, it cannot possibly be... it's nothing... the only thing that is, is now
  • Sebastián Hoch
    27 minutes ago
    • I've seen it more as a sense of past, rather than a sense of self, but it is the same... if past is not real, then the self is not real, because it's only an image from the past... so I don't exist... anything that could possibly exist as an "I", is only past, which is in my head... so it is impossible for me to exist in reality
  • Kareem Zidan
    23 minutes ago
    Kareem Zidan
    • Yes, true, very good.

      So just to make sure, is there a you experiencing life now? Is there a you living? Is there a you thinking thought? Is there a you anywhere?

      Is there a you now?
  • Sebastián Hoch
    20 minutes ago
    • no, there is only life, living, thoughts... there is only "now"... anything else (my life, me experience, my thought) involves past... and past only exists in thought, so it is not real... therefore, anything involving "me", or "I", is not real... because it includes a sense of past which doesn't exist
  • Sebastián Hoch
    18 minutes ago
    • when you realize that past doesn't exist, that it only exists in your thoughts, you see that YOU don't exist, because any sense of you comes from the past... which, as we said, only exists in our thoughts

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