Hi, are you there?

Yeah I'm here

two days ago I stumbled upon your blog, somehow... and I've been wandering about what you said (I also got into ruthless truth)

You can send me messages while I'm offline

same here

I can understand what you say... I can intellectually understand it, and share it... but I haven SEEN it... I've only seen it intellectually, but not really seen it... do you understand what I'm saying?

haven't*

Yeah, I understand

Look, it's really simple than you think

Look at reality, is there a you anywhere?

only in my mind... I mean, there is a self conciousness.. that's the only "me" I can recognize... my conciousness... the rest is only accumulation of experiences, knowledge, memories, etc

You are really close man, it is actually just consciousness, there is no self to be consciousness of, there is just consciousness of the body, of the experience, but where is the "you" in that?

There is no "you" in any of that.
Come'on man, see it.

I'm struggling with the "me" that makes decisions... when I decide to go outside for a walk, or play guitar... what is that "me" that decides? it decides with autonomy... it decides without help from anyone else... only my individuality intervenes... isn't that some kind of "me"?

Thoughts just rise man, thoughts appear, decisions appear.
there is a thought of reading this at the moment, there is no "you" that's making that happen, it just happened, there is no cause.

The weather might be nice today, the thought of going out for a walk appears, there is no "you" in that, it all just happens, with no cause causing it.

There is nothing that "decides" there is just thoughts of decision that rise, it's not "you" that's making the decision, it's just a decision, that came up out of nowhere.

Individuality, everything that has ever been experienced will always be there, but you have never experienced a you have you? how can it be there then?

There is just life man, there is no "you" vs "me" that's not real, there is just life, being, that's all, that's all it ever was.

I think I'm getting it... so, even if I suddenly stop reading at the middle of a sentence, it's not me deciding "I'm going to stop now", but it just comes to be by itself... everything just comes upon, and then we add our sense of decision/control...

because I really did stop reading at the middle of a sentence, to check if I could... and I did stop there, feeling that I had decided to stop... and then I continued... it felt like me in control... but, in reality, it just arose

it's very hard to see it because my thoughts get in-between... they are too deep in my head and they intervene with everything... I need some sense of quietness in my head to see this, I think...

what about when I decide to tap my desk once, then twice, then once, then stop (I did it right now trying to see a "me")... those thoughts didn't come to my head, I produced them out of trying to find a "me" able to do something for myself... I tapped my desk with my fingers... do you think that came to me? or I did it?

You didn't do it, it happened.

Thoughts rise, thoughts are real, but you are not thoughts, you don't create them, try to think "what is the next thought that's gonna come into my head?" You want be able to, for the simple fact that "you" is just a thought that doesn't exist in reality.

The thoughts "I am" suggest that there is a thinker, I do-er, a person living life.

But look at life, look at reality man, you simply don't exist in reality.

"do you think that came to me? or I did it?"
There is no you.
Nothing comes to "you"
"you" don't exist.

You could in the same way tap the desk with your fingers and think santa clause did that, but look at reality, there is no santa clause you just imagined one.

In the same way, you don't exist, you just imagined a self that did that.

I feel I'm so so so close, but not there yet... I can fully understand what you're saying... I can see the truth of it... I just haven't realized it mentally and actively... it comes and goes... I understand it but I haven't abandoned my "selfness" yet... but I think I'm really close... I need a final push and I'll be there

rather than understand it through thoughts, I should ignore thoughts and only see what it IS

Yes!

Fuck, your right there, your on the edge man.

Don't ignore them, just see them as they are, they are just thoughts, just that man, they don't mean anything, they're just thoughts, they're not "yours" they're just fucking thoughts.

Come'on man, what the fuck are you expecting? this is nothing supernatural, on the contrary, this is what is natural, this is how it's been for you're whole life since you were born.

THIS IS HOW IT'S ALWAYS BEEN, THERE NEVER WAS SUCH THING AS YOU MAN, FUCKING LOOK, LOOK AT IT, LOOK!!!

YOU NEVER FUCKING EXISTED, NEVER, IT WAS JUST AN IMAGINATION!

Come on man, what's stopping you from seeing this?

I wish I knew... I'm trying to see it... see it beyond the verbal understanding... but something isn't letting me... I'm almost there

I can clearly see that there is no "me", but an image of me... and that image has been constructed through past experiences, which exist only in my mind... past is a creation of the mind... so that image cannot be real... it's just that, an image...

There is no "there" it already is, you already don't exist.

Yes!
Go on man, this is music to my ears, perfect, go on.

all the sense of "me" that I have, has been constructed based on the past... but the past is only thought... so, the sense of me is only thought too... past was created by my, and the image of me was derived from that... that means that the image itself was created by me

by me*

there is no me, there only is
any other feeling of "me" will necessarily be a construction from the pasts experiences of me that I hold in my mind

Yes man, fucking yes.

Is there a "you" now in any sense of the word?

Unleash it, speak it out, I will understand, I promise. Just do your best here.

For freedom. Do this for freedom.

I feel there is a "me" in a sense of distinction between what I want, and what other person wants, or thinks... I want to go outside, my sister wants to stay here... there is a distinction between us... I want to do something, she doesn't... there is a "me" wanting that is different from her... but that "me" is just a construction, just an image... a self image, of myself, weird as it sounds...

the image I have of me was created... the image I have of my sister was created too, and the image she has of herself, and of me, were created to... still, there is a distinction between what I want, and what she wants... there is a difference...

but that's not really a distinction between me and her... between a "me" and a "her"... it's a distinction between desires, or longings... but not a distinction of "me", and "her"...

just as I can have opposing thoughts or desires, I can have opposing thoughts with another person... but there is not a "me" against "you", just a thought against another thought... between myself or between my and another person

me and another person*

Ok man, look.

There is no "you" there is no "her", there is just life. They are just conflicting thoughts.

In reality, there is no "you" and "her" that was all made up by the mind.

Just a projection, that's all it was.

Now is there a you? don't distract yourself man, there is nothing more important than this, there is nothing more important than freedom, come on.

I don't want 100% clarity, just be as clear as you can.

Come on man stop thinking, STOP THINKING AND LOOK AT REALITY.

DON'T THINK, DON'T TRY TO GET THIS, THIS IS NOT A CONCEPT, THIS IS REALITY, THIS IS TRUTH, DON'T FUCKING DISTRACT YOURSELF.

THIS IS RIGHT INFRONT OF YOUR FACE, THERE IS NO YOU ANYWHERE, NOT ANYWHERE, NOT ANY-FUCKING-WHERE!!!!!!

DON'T THINK ABOUT ANY THING AND LOOK, SIMPLY LOOK, THAT'S ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS LOOK.

YOU DON'T FUCKING EXIST.

I'm sitting in front of the screen, doing nothing else but this...
but thoughts keep getting in my way and they don't let me see... I'm really trying to SEE it, actually see it... not verbally, not intellectually... but in actual reality... but I'm having a hard time... fucking thoughts get in the way all the time, they distort and condition everything

I'm fighting with my own head, it's an exhausting and annoying struggle

You can't stop thought.

Look at the thoughts, just let the thoughts go, is there a you in any of the thoughts?

Is there a you doing ANY of them?

Is there even a you doing the thought of "no self"?

Don't fight the thoughts, look at them.

they just arise... they suddenly come to be... I'm not producing them, not even one of them...

Do you exist?

only in my mind

only in thought... not in reality

Rant about it, show me you've really got it.

Then we're done.

I cannot believe how hard it is to see something... how deeply conditioned we are by thought... I'm still trying to see them arise, but it ends up being a thought watching a thought, instead of me directly watching thoughts

There is no you watching thought, thoughts just rise, as part of the experience, you just assumed that there is a you watching them, you assumed that what the thoughts suggested was real.

There is no you, in anything, there is no you watching thought no you observing, it's all just a lie, it's all just an imagination.

Do you have any doubts?

It's best to be honest here.

and you also haven't shown me you got it, be clear about this, this is really important.

I don't really think I got it... I never did... I think I verbally and intellectually got it, but I haven't REALLY SEEN it... I have no interest in claiming so if it's not true

I can clearly understand it all... but I'm still not there... the difference between understanding something, and seeing the truth of something... anyway, I think I'm really really close, but I don't know what to do to get there

I feel I'm just one step from it... almost there... but I keep getting in thought games that lead nowhere

What are you expecting? Again, this is perfectly normal, this will not introduce you to some supreme powers, this is not something that will make everything turn pink and fluffy and love and peace being all there is for eternity.

Now this is not somewhere that you have to reach.

This is simply reality, simply how it has always been, you never existed.

Seeing it now, looking at reality there is no self, self is just a thought.

Santa clause is just a thought, does santa clause exist in reality? No, does a self exist in reality? no

Stop expecting some major transformation, that won't happen.

You already have everything you need to look, there is nothing to do except look, there is no you anywhere, anywhere at all.

I think I got it then... I've read Krishnamurti for a while (I guess you've probably read him)... and I've seen this fact that, the past is not real... the past is a creation of thought... and that past is responsible for fear, desire, etc... as well as the images we have of ourselves and other people... we construct those images from the past, but they are not real... the only real thing is now, what it is... images are not reality, so any sense of self (which HAS to come from an image), is not real, it cannot possibly be... it's nothing... the only thing that is, is now

I've seen it more as a sense of past, rather than a sense of self, but it is the same... if past is not real, then the self is not real, because it's only an image from the past... so I don't exist... anything that could possibly exist as an "I", is only past, which is in my head... so it is impossible for me to exist in reality

Yes, true, very good.

So just to make sure, is there a you experiencing life now? Is there a you living? Is there a you thinking thought? Is there a you anywhere?

Is there a you now?

no, there is only life, living, thoughts... there is only "now"... anything else (my life, me experience, my thought) involves past... and past only exists in thought, so it is not real... therefore, anything involving "me", or "I", is not real... because it includes a sense of past which doesn't exist

when you realize that past doesn't exist, that it only exists in your thoughts, you see that YOU don't exist, because any sense of you comes from the past... which, as we said, only exists in our thoughts