Thursday, 30 June 2011

The Mind

So this is basically how it happened from the start, you were told since you were a little kid how to react in each and every situation in your life, you have been told how to be a supposedly "good boy" in the society you live in, of course you had to have manners, what use would you be without manners, jeez.

Of course you had to smile, "I'm smiling mummy" "Oh, good boy!" *Pats on head*


It's all bullshit, all of it, just shit shoved into your brain.

But there is this one thing thats the most shittiest of all bullshit.

That you exist.

I mean that's the biggest lie I have ever discovered in my entire lifetime (not so long though just 18 years so yeah)

So how did this all happen?

Well there has always been just life, you knew that when you were a cute little fucking baby, there was just life and there were just things, these things, there were also these faces, bodys, human beings, they looked like you, but a bit more larger, mature version of you, that's all they were, human beings you know. Simple as fucking that.

You called them "mum" and "dad", just labels you know, they didn't "mean" anything, really they didn't, just labels assigned to the first mature human beings you were ever aware of.

There was no "You" at the time, was there?!

Ofcourse your mother called you a name, whatever that name is, you had no awarness except of the body, sensations of the body, and what you saw.

You didn't "understand" shit, there was just that name, it was just a label, just a name, didn't mean anything, just a friggen name.

There was no such thing as the idea of "self" there was just everything, there wasn't "knowing" there was everything, it was just friggen everything, life, nature, the trees, the beauty, the innocence, no meaning, just life, nothing more, nothing less.

You matured and your mind matured with you, adapting what was seen from the envioronment, adaptation, yes that's where the problem was, adaptation.

You started to connect things with things, you started connecting the name with the body, relating the body to other bodies, relating this with that, relating A with B.

Yes my sad friend, that was the beginning of the concept of self.

When people used the word "you", you could do nothing but question it, it was of your nature, I don't think there's anything wrong with that, it just happened, you had to question shit to be able to adapt to the life you saw.

So you questioned it "What am I?" "What does it mean?"

Trying to make sense out of it you related that word with the body you were aware of, the sensations you had and the relation that body/mind had with everything around it.

Don't you see? You just created a fucking entity out of nothing. But something that is created out of nothing will remain as it is, just simply nothing.

Just a picture that gives you an illusion that it's something more, something deeper something more than it really is.

But in reality it is just what it is, there is no depth to it, there's nothing more to it then what it really is.

It's just a label, it's just a word, the meaning behind it is the meaning that the mind created it.

Somehow the mind never questioned it, it just kept on going in life assuming that there is some paticular thing called "self" or "me" or more better put "my-self" that was the cause and the reason for everything the mind put out, and the body felt.

That was never the case.

You should look deep into this, isn't there just the possiblity that I was living a lie for my entire life?

My mind isn't perfect, it's always prone to mistakes, it always does mistakes, it was never meant to be "right" all the time.

"Right" and "wrong" are just concepts attached to self as well, but I'll get into that in another post.

You have always related your mind with everything around you, and gave the idea a sense of life, "I am happy" "I am sad" "I am excited" "I am bored".

Everything had to be tied to a sense of identity, and the reason? blind belief, just like blindly believing some guy that told you "apes are controlling the world".

I mean why should "you" be identified with the body? why not be identified with this screen? It's the same thing if you look at it.

There was no you from the very beginning.

Even the thought that there is no you is not a thought created by "you".

Come on, test it for yourself, you are having thoughts right now aren't you? are they yours? how do they belong to "you"? you never caused them, they just happened, what is the substance of "you", if it has any substance at all, to be able to create a thought?

Just drop the bullshit man/woman, just for once

drop the fucking bullshit.

Be honest, be honest, for freedom.

Do this for freedom.

Honestly question you're existence.

Trust me, it will be worth it.

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Tuesday, 28 June 2011

It's Already Happening

Everything in life is already happening, even before you think of resisting or accepting it, but if you look deep enough you will see that the resisting and accepting are both part of what's happening.

Actually if you look deep enough you will see that the happening happened before "you" somehow appeared to be experiencing it, the experience is already there, the thought of "I" was generated after the experience.

You cannot say that "I" am observing, "I" am seeing, "I" am listening, because of the simple fact that the observing, seeing, listening had already occured, the "I" is an imaginary appendix of that experience.

Actually look at the words "I am", look at how these words relate to the "you" that you think is there, where does it lead? does it have substance? and the most important question of all, is it real? does it exist?!

You are not looking, you are not seeing, right here and now as you are reading these words, is there an "I" that's causing the reading? or is the reading just occuring?

Did you ever have the will to read this next word, or did the reading of this next word occur regardless of your will? See it as it is said.

Just an imaginary puppeteer claiming control, there was never a puppeteer, there was never control.

Read these words carefully.





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Thursday, 23 June 2011

Rythmic Illusions

Music can help us understand reality more if we really look deep into it.

Music is the representation of the ongoing rythm of life, since music is more felt than understood, so is life, you are one with the rythm of life which is already happening before you can fully understand it.

I won't go into music theory much, but I'll just give you an understanding of what rythmic illusions really are.

Let's say you have a normal beat, call it beat A. Assume that that beat goes on for eternity, with a straight forward time signature of 4/4 (clap your hands in a beat, each clap of the hand takes a count, till you reach 4 claps, then repeat)

Now what musicians do in some genres of music (especially jazz) is that they enter another different time signature within the context of the original time signature of 4/4. So call that new beat beat B.

So basically beat A and beat B are actually under one original beat, but they seem different and seperate, when in actual reality they are not.

So it makes you feel as if they've gone off beat, they just deliberaty created that illusion, to make the music more interesting, (and sometimes really confusing)

Here's a song to demonstrate what I mean by that, one of my favourite bands called Vildhjarta (swedish for wild heart)

Now apply that to reality, reality is full of illusions, but it never really deviates from it's original structure (the 4/4 time signature) it just gives you the illusion that you are seperate.

You have the illusion that there is a you that exists that is in control of your life and in control of your body, no matter how "real" that may seem, if you really look deep into it, there is no illusion, in fact there is no you.

Just the endless rythm of life, as a musician it's easy to see behind rythmic illusions.

But what about you? Can you see the rythmic illusion of your existence?

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Wednesday, 22 June 2011

Life Simply Is!

A poem by one of my favourite poets, none other than Edgar Allen Poe

"Take this kiss upon the brow!
And, in parting from you now,
Thus much let me avow-
You are not wrong, who deem
That my days have been a dream;
Yet if hope has flown away
In a night, or in a day,
In a vision, or in none,
Is it therefore the less gone?
All that we see or seem
Is but a dream within a dream.

I stand amid the roar
Of a surf-tormented shore,
And I hold within my hand
Grains of the golden sand-
How few! yet how they creep
Through my fingers to the deep,
While I weep-while I weep!
O God! can I not grasp
Them with a tighter clasp?
O God! can I not save
One from the pitiless wave?
Is all that we see or seem
But a dream within a dream?"

Look at the environment, the endless stream of life that is upon you before your very eyes, it all is of nothing, enters into nothing, without a cause and without a purpose, just the stream of life, like the river, like the trees.

Can't you see?! It is a never ending flow of beauty, yes, like the birds that cheep, they don't cheep for a cause, they are an embodiment of life, a never ending expression of life.

One cannot grasp life, one cannot hold on to it, it is free, the people in your life you hold on too, they will go, your parents, your family, your friends, everything "you" think you own, is never meant to last.

Don't you see the beauty in that? the freedom that is, for "you" are the same, you appear out of nothing and you seemingly enter into nothing..

But take a look deeper, did you ever exist?

Just the never ending stream of life.

You can call it a dream, a play, whatever, life cannot be labeled it cannot be understood, it just is, and god, how beautiful it is.

Embrace the infinite nothingness that you are.

For the beauty of life will go on forever with or without your existence.

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Tuesday, 21 June 2011

Admit Defeat

It's time to stop falling victim to false beliefs, stop being a victim to lies and stop believing all what you're told, especially what you were told about yourself.

It's time to see the lie as it is, It's time to free yourself from the very shackles that have tied you down you're entire life with fear, misery and suffering.

Destroy yourself!

Sit down, watch each thought that arises, examine the "cause" of the thought, don't let any thought flee out of your consciousness.

How did the thought arise? Did the thought need a self? or was the thought of "self" attached after the thought had already appeared?

Simple as this, see everything as it is, see a thought as it is, simply a thought, look at the words infront of you as they are, simply words, look at the reality before you as it is, simply reality.

Obliterate yourself to fucking pieces till there's no "Self" left unexamined.

Time to surrender to reality and it's perfection without the existence of you.

It's time to admit defeat!

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Monday, 20 June 2011

Your Non Existant Self

I've never written a blog in my life.

I've always been the type of guy that would stay quiet about his beliefs, I always thought that no one would understand me, so it lead me to beat myself up out of the frustration of misscomunnication.

Not anymore, bitch!

I'm laying it all out in the open, because I have reached a huge checkpoint in my life that sparked a change so drastic that it turned me inside out, and I promise you it's gonna change YOU inside out when you know what I now know, the truth my friend, pure freedom.

It's something you've known all along yet you denied it all your life, it's the simplest fact that you've clouded with your fake thoughts and personality, it is the very key to your freedom, knowing this one thing.

You don't exist.

"You're fuckin insane"

"Zidan, you've lost it, you need help"

Yeah, maybe I am insane, and maybe I have lost it, but don't take my word for it and look for yourself.

Where is that self you've been "being" all your life?

You gotta look a little deeper, you gotta get a real good look at it.

Just tell me, who are you? what are you?

If you believe that you are the body then thats just sad, the body will get old, it'll die until it's decomposed into mere dirt, do you honestly think that's who you are?

"I am my mind" you say, well the mind is just a bunch of neural impulses and thoughts, actually the mind works perfectly without "you" being there, cause for sure as hell you can't be identified with each neural signal that gets sent out of your mind into your body, you're not even aware of most of them.

"I am my personality" hah! your personality, well what is your personality? a bunch of beliefs, thoughts attached so concretly to each other, so you're telling me that's what you are? a bunch of thoughts?

"Ok if i'm not my body, and i'm not my mind, then what am I?"

You see that's where it gets interesting, I've always had the question in my mind before stumbling across a website that changed my life, literally.

Now what was different about that place is that it wasn't a form of cult that forced beliefs into my mind, and for sure it wasn't some ego based site seeking people's attention, actually they don't give a fuck about that, they give a fuck about the truth.

And we both know the truth is something beyond belief, something beyond thinking and understanding, it is something beyond the minds capability of distorting it into a false idea.

Truth is pure and simple, and it cannot be analysed, it is simply seen.

So back to the question, who/what are you?

Nothing, you never have existed, and you don't exist NOW.


"Know thyself"

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