So this is basically how it happened from the start, you were told since you were a little kid how to react in each and every situation in your life, you have been told how to be a supposedly "good boy" in the society you live in, of course you had to have manners, what use would you be without manners, jeez.

Of course you had to smile, "I'm smiling mummy" "Oh, good boy!" *Pats on head*

Ughh

It's all bullshit, all of it, just shit shoved into your brain.

But there is this one thing thats the most shittiest of all bullshit.

That you exist.

I mean that's the biggest lie I have ever discovered in my entire lifetime (not so long though just 18 years so yeah)

So how did this all happen?

Well there has always been just life, you knew that when you were a cute little fucking baby, there was just life and there were just things, these things, there were also these faces, bodys, human beings, they looked like you, but a bit more larger, mature version of you, that's all they were, human beings you know. Simple as fucking that.

You called them "mum" and "dad", just labels you know, they didn't "mean" anything, really they didn't, just labels assigned to the first mature human beings you were ever aware of.

There was no "You" at the time, was there?!

Ofcourse your mother called you a name, whatever that name is, you had no awarness except of the body, sensations of the body, and what you saw.

You didn't "understand" shit, there was just that name, it was just a label, just a name, didn't mean anything, just a friggen name.

There was no such thing as the idea of "self" there was just everything, there wasn't "knowing" there was everything, it was just friggen everything, life, nature, the trees, the beauty, the innocence, no meaning, just life, nothing more, nothing less.

You matured and your mind matured with you, adapting what was seen from the envioronment, adaptation, yes that's where the problem was, adaptation.

You started to connect things with things, you started connecting the name with the body, relating the body to other bodies, relating this with that, relating A with B.

Yes my sad friend, that was the beginning of the concept of self.

When people used the word "you", you could do nothing but question it, it was of your nature, I don't think there's anything wrong with that, it just happened, you had to question shit to be able to adapt to the life you saw.

So you questioned it "What am I?" "What does it mean?"

Trying to make sense out of it you related that word with the body you were aware of, the sensations you had and the relation that body/mind had with everything around it.

Don't you see? You just created a fucking entity out of nothing. But something that is created out of nothing will remain as it is, just simply nothing.

Just a picture that gives you an illusion that it's something more, something deeper something more than it really is.

But in reality it is just what it is, there is no depth to it, there's nothing more to it then what it really is.

It's just a label, it's just a word, the meaning behind it is the meaning that the mind created it.

Somehow the mind never questioned it, it just kept on going in life assuming that there is some paticular thing called "self" or "me" or more better put "my-self" that was the cause and the reason for everything the mind put out, and the body felt.

That was never the case.

You should look deep into this, isn't there just the possiblity that I was living a lie for my entire life?

My mind isn't perfect, it's always prone to mistakes, it always does mistakes, it was never meant to be "right" all the time.

"Right" and "wrong" are just concepts attached to self as well, but I'll get into that in another post.

You have always related your mind with everything around you, and gave the idea a sense of life, "I am happy" "I am sad" "I am excited" "I am bored".

Everything had to be tied to a sense of identity, and the reason? blind belief, just like blindly believing some guy that told you "apes are controlling the world".

I mean why should "you" be identified with the body? why not be identified with this screen? It's the same thing if you look at it.

There was no you from the very beginning.

Even the thought that there is no you is not a thought created by "you".

Come on, test it for yourself, you are having thoughts right now aren't you? are they yours? how do they belong to "you"? you never caused them, they just happened, what is the substance of "you", if it has any substance at all, to be able to create a thought?

Just drop the bullshit man/woman, just for once

drop the fucking bullshit.

Be honest, be honest, for freedom.

Do this for freedom.

Honestly question you're existence.

Trust me, it will be worth it.