Thursday, 28 July 2011

Getting there

Seeking enlightenment many people see it as something that you reach, as if you are going to get somewhere.

Now this is not what enlightenment is about, actually it is just a projection of the person's hopeless anxiety and unfulfillment in life, always wanting to "get there".

The thought of "getting there" is in fact running after one of the many projections of the mind, you can't get there, because the "there" is something you made up, so you will never find it in reality.

It's like you're hungry, you imagine a pancake that's "over there", and start running after it, as if there really is a pancake.

No matter how much you run towards it, the pancake will always be "over there", because there really is no pancake, you just projected an imaginary object to move towards.

In reality there is no such thing as "getting there", because there is nothing but what's here!

That's why people are never satisfied, they always have to reach something, whatever they do they would never have quiet reached it.

A big source of anxiety and depression is not accepting what is already here, because here is the only reality there is, there is no such a thing as "there", that's just an illusion, there is nothing to reach, there is nothing to pursue, there is only what is here.

Always denying what's here and instead hoping for a better "there" is quiet stupid, and unrealistic.

The only thing there is is what's here.

You can't "reach" liberation, it's not a goal.

The only reality is what is here, that's the only reality there is, don't look for anything "else" because there is no such thing as something outside what's here now.

Liberation is here and now. Reality is here and now.

Look around you, is there anything outside of this?

Where are your goals?

Where is your self?
 

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Monday, 25 July 2011

Concepts and Reality

You are always thinking, thinking about alot of shit, you can never stop thinking, thought leads to other thought, like a chain reaction, there is no such thing as complete control of thoughts, since that in itself is just another thought.

I have talked in this blog alot about the self, and how it never did exist in reality, it's just an imaginary concept that took over the mind for some reason, I really don't know what the reason really is, it just happened though.

Now you can look at the concept of self, just as a concept, meaning that there is no actual self in reality. So we got that covered.

Look at other selves as well, there is no such thing as an other, since that is also just a concept,  a concept of "him/her" there is no actual him or her, since all you see in real life is just a complex organism that reacts to the environment and adapts accordingly. There is nothing in there doing anything, that's just an imagination.

The thing here is that the conceptual mind needs an x in order to prove a y, as in if there never was an x, then there would never be a y based upon that x.

There is no you, but in order for the lie of you to keep on growing it needs a concept of "other" in order to survive as a thought.

But there is no you, how can there be an "other"? There is no self anywhere, there is nothing that owns anything, nothing that owns a self, there is no such thing, it is all just a fallacy.

This is what caused many conflictis throughout the ages, the reason for war and selfish destruction, was due to the blind belief in the self and the "other", or in other words, "me vs them".

Many leaders believed that there is such a thing as a self "owning" something, but can't you see the stupidity in that?

The mind always categorises shit, like little files in the mind, but that is all it is, it is not something that's actually existant.

That's what gives the illusion of seperation, it's categorization, "this is mine" "I own this".

There is no you to own anything, there is no such thing as owning, everything happens on it's own, I'll say it again.

There is no you to own anything.

So what does this false belief lead to? a combination of "This is mine" and "He is trying to take what's mine away from me" causes fear.

What's the fear coming from?

Fear of the death of an idea, the idea just wants to survive, wants to live as long as it can, it will die eventually.

It's just an idea though. Funnily enough you really look, all it is is just an idea.

This is also the start of inferiority complexes, feeling that there is a "you" that's inadequate, that there is always something that you should do to be better than "others", you gotta show off, you gotta prove that the idea exists, the idea wants to take over.

There is no such thing as a self, it's just an idea that thinks it's the self.

So when the idea is prone to danger of being exposed as just an idea, it starts defending itself, the body instantly believes the mind, therefore the body reacts accordingly, causing stress, unneeded anger, and hopeless anxiety.

The idea has to defend itself from any "other" it has to reach something, it has to do shit, it has to "get better grades" it has to "do better in work" it has to "give a good impression to friends" it has to "act in a way that fits society".

But that's really stupid you know, it's all just a lie, when you really look you'll see that there is no such thing as a self, and that all that anger, anxiety and depression wasn't really needed, since it was just an idea, an idea about something that never even did exist in reality, it was just false, it never existed, really.

So why do people keep on holding on false beliefs and always try to defend what really isn't there?

Why do you defend what isn't really there? Isn't that pathetic?

And you always get ideas about society, what society is like, but guess what, there is no such thing as a living "society", there is just life living itself, humans that live in an environment and adapt accordingly.

Somewhere along a way ideas pop up from the mind, they are believed as true and forced into the minds of many "others" building up the idea of society.

So you are in chains with that idea, trying to live up accordingly to that idea, but that's all it is, an idea.

The building up of the concept of self has enslaved humanity, there is no thing inside that does shit, I mean for fucks sakes, just look and see for yourself.

There are lots and lots of ideas and concepts that have popped up out of no where and were blindly assumed as true without the natural process of questioning.

Now drop your selfishness, drop the need of trying to be better than everyone else, and actually look.

If you really give a fuck about others, you are not actually doing that, what you are doing is blindly worshipping an idea, thinking it exists.

There is no other people, there are just humans, these humans do shit, the same way a river flows, but they assume that there is "something" that is "doing it".

Same as you, you are just an idea.

There is no such thing as a society, there is such thing as other people, there is no such thing as you, no such thing as him.

Look at reality and actually see this, see the way thought masks everything up into an imaginary belief.

Question everything to the core, if you are really honest, and you give a fuck, you'd do that.

If you are thinking that you still got prove something to someone, than you could go suck a cock for all I care.

You are living a lie, now fucking look at reality.

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Sunday, 17 July 2011

Liberation Is Not An Escape

Many people (If not all of them) come towards liberation as if it is something that will give them superpowers, make them gods, and live in peace and happiness for their whole lives.

Now that doesn't seem like reality to me, liberation is all about reality, seeing reality, and the truth, and it is pretty darn obvious that living in a state of constant bliss is not how reality is obviously.

What liberation does though, is give you clarity and get you real.

Since it is just seeing life, seeing the illusion that the thoughts produce, that is liberation, it is not something supernatural, or something "beyond"

It's actually nothing like that at all, it is seeing reality as it always has, it is something very simple.

All it takes is to just look at reality, search for a self everywhere, you will never find it, not even in this, now.

Seeing that illusion of the self as it is, is what is freeing, since there is no self to "do" anything, that self never did exist.

There was always just life, living, that's all, there was no you in any of that, and there is no you now.

Liberation is freedom, freedom to "be".

Now the one of the major things that stop people from actually getting liberated, is the expectation of something, expecting something extraordinary to happen, like suddenly waking up to find yourself floating on a cloud or something like that.

Well that doesn't happen, really.

There is just great clarity, and freedom, it's hard to describe, but what I am sure of is that it's nothing "extraordinary", as a matter of fact, it is the most natural and simple state.

One positive thing to do is to drop your expectations on liberation, that will distract you from actually being liberated, instead of expecting what the peak of the mountain will be like, look now, you don't have to reach there, it already IS.

You never did exist, it was all just a fallacy, an imagination of the mind, there is no such thing as a "me" and no such thing as a "you".

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Friday, 15 July 2011

Truth and Freedom

I used to always think that life needed changing, I always focused on the wrong things.

You see, I'm not superman, I'm just a normal guy, normal life, nothing amazing about me at all, just being honest here, it is just knowing the truth, seeing it that sucked that illusion into nothingness.

I hate philosophy, fuck philosophy.

I was 13, I guess, I really can't remember when this was, there was this thing in me, something that I couldn't point at, something burning inside, something's not right, something's missing, there something I hadn't reached yet, something that was yearning to be discovered yet it never pointed at what to discover.

God? I had my doubts, actually, I stoped beleiving in an imaginary entity up in the sky that's watching everything everybody does, that seeks to be loved, that seeks to care this second and fuck everything up the next. Yeah seriously, that started to show itself up as a big illusion.

Beleiving in an illusion makes you feel safe, but yeah, that's just a false sense of safety, cause it's just the illusion that's giving you safety.

There is no such thing, there is no such thing as one, and that's what started it all, it's just seeing through an illusion, that makes you discover more shit, that there are still more illusions to see through, but there was still something I wasn't seeing.

There was this illusionary gap in me, I had to find something, that something that never showed up, shit man, it fucked me up, it fucked me up so bad, I can't bother to remember it, it was fucked up.

God was a big belief, I saw the illusion of it.

But that wasn't the end.

Something was still leading me on, and I felt like I could never rest until this feeling went, it kept me going, trying to find something, trying to find truth.

I could never find truth anywhere, just surrounded by lies, even if I found something that resonated within me, just would discover later that it was a lie in disguise, just something that fucked it all up more.

Idk about the rest of the world, but living in Egypt, it's really hard to find truth, there are just people everywhere that don't give a fuck about anything, except on shit that doesn't matter. You just got people programmed, yeah, just programmed to do shit, they don't know why they do it, they just make up a reason, and go on with it, like it really matters.

I come from a really protective family, I never was able to be indpendent, unless I fought for it, I don't know why I was fighting, I just kept on fighting, for something I didn't know at the time existed or not.

Truth.

I didn't give a shit about anything, I just had to know, know what? I don't know, but just reach the point where I can see truth shining at my face, smiling at me, then I knew I'd be at peace, then I knew I'd be sane.

So I gave up the false sense of security that came from beleiving in god, and boy was that a tough ride, coming from a religious background and society, that made me an outcast.

I stumbled upon spiritualityy, the spiritual realm and the things thought of as "beyond" reality, or so I thought anyway.

I spent most of my time in that shit, for 3 years I was doing spiritual meditations.

Sure it was great, but it fucked me up more, it somehow opened my mind to stuff I don't think is easy to handle, and it can't be expressed in words, most of that shit can't be expressed in words, language just dresses it up into something that it really isn't.

 And fuck, I gave up so many times, so fucking many times, and each time it felt like there is really no such thing as truth, there is no hope in anything, and that this is how it's always going to be.

But that never felt right.

I thought drugs where the solution, seeing that drugs can stop your thinking for a while, shut up all those thoughts in you're brain that drive you insane.

I was escaping, escaping something, and the funny thing is that I never knew what I was escaping, reality? I don't think I knew what reality was at the time, I was just escaping my own thoughts, I was escaping my own fucking thoughts, how pathetic.

But reality keeps on knocking on your front door, telling you its there, telling you you're making a total fool outa yourself, you're just making this all up, you're just making all this pain, misery, up.

Yes, I was.

Cause when I quit, it just showed that it was this sweet well built cover up to you're thoughts, it's like you have this river of thought, you build a blockade and you think that the water's gone, cause you're living on the other side of the blockade.

Once the blockade just collapses, the water comes rushing in, floods of water everywhere, drowning you.

That river is reality.

But I couldn't stare reality at the face, I was just too scared, I went back to believing in god again, thinking that that was the solution.

"I have sinned, forgive me, save me"

But you can just follow the herd for so long, till you discover that the herd is fucked up, the herd is just a slavery program, the herd is just an idea, the herd is just something to cover up what's really there.

There is no herd, just the imagination of one.

Just an excuse to live in a fuckin misery.

Just a way so the lie you really are can live.

But It all came down to this question
"Who am I?" "What am I"

Now this question drove me crazy.
Doesn't it drive you crazy?

You go through shit, you look in the face of a lie your hole life till you beleive you are it.
You cry, you hurt, you get hurt, you fuck, you get fucked.
But then at the end of the day it all comes down to this one single fucking question.
"Who the fuck am I?!"

Buddhism, yeah, they got the answer. I mean, all those hairless monks that sit around doing nothing but meditate on nothing and do nothing, well they surely would have a reson for that, maybe they knew truth.

But they just blab on on a bunch of shit that you wouldn't really understand, only they could, which is fucking frustrating, it makes me sick, just vomit on their useless existence.

They know the truth but they're to fuckin lazy to point at it, they just want to tell you how cool it is.

I never understood their shit, it made no fuckin sense, and seriously, if you were ever in my place, and read it, never understood it, it's not you're fault, it's just that they're a bunch of retards, really, them knowing truth doesn't make them gods, actually they're worthless, they're just peices of scum on earth.

Alright so fuck you buddhists.

Next thing.

And this one is what fucked me up the most.

"Life is just an illusion!"

Wohoooo, so that's it yeah? yeah I've been looking for ages for truth and that's what you come up with? "Life is just an illusion"

But yeah, since I was dying for truth, anything credible I found in my way I tested it, I took it to the ground, I lived with it whether it was right or wrong, to find out for myself whether it was true or not.

Now this doesn't prove anything, it just means I wanted it, I wanted it more than anything.

I lived with that concept for quite a while, that life was just an illusion, that nothing was real, and for a moment that felt like it made sense.

Yeah it did.

But that bugger of a feeling was still there, saying that I hadn't seen truth yet, I hadn't reached it, I hadn't gotten it.

Cause when I get smacked in the face, I know it's real, when I jump from the 3rd floor, I'd feel it.

Pain is a reminder that it's not an illusion.
And if pain exists, then life does.

Alright, what's next on the list.

2 years ago I stumbled up a self improvement site of Steve Pavlina's.

Now he had this thing he called Subjective Reality, where everything is a dream, including yourself, and that what you are is actually the dreamer of the dream.

And at that point you are not identified with the body, you are identified with the dream world as a whole, because everything in it is you, you're thoughts.

Well that proves what people mean when they say "you are consciousness" you are "all that is" that you are "nothing but everything at the same time"

Alright so I read that, I wouldn't prove it wrong just yet, I had to experience it, I had to put myself deep in it, I had to know if that was the truth or not, or whether it's just a bunch of bullshit.

So what I did is that I assumed it was true, until something came up to prove it wrong, then I'd just drop the whole thing all together.

Did that, seeing life as a dream, I am the dreamer of the dream.

Then it seemed like it made sense, it seemed like this might be the actual truth, although how absurd it may sound, it seemed like that is what it really is.

I had this moment where I completely zenned out, it was a moment where I believed that I was in heaven, that I had finally reached truth.

Everything made sense, and that there is just the dream.

But that faded away quickly though.

I never had that feeling again, therefore the analogy of life as a dream and that you are a dreamer is false, and that it is not the actual truth, but it is so damn close to it.

And that was it, I thought to myself, that I would die for the truth, I would be willing to give up everything, even my family, everything, if truth meant that I would kill myself to find it then that is what I was willling to do.

But I had to test all that could possibly tested out first.

And only when there is no other way but finding out what truth is, I would kill myself, just to find out.

That's how much I wanted it.

There was no turning back, that was an impossible choice, that I would have never took, I could never even look back, I was in a state that there was no possiblity, just a mind set to find one thing.

And that is fucking truth.

Truth

FREEDOM, FREEDOM!

Now while I was browsing through some forums, I found a site linking to the ruthless truth blog site.

I was lead to the Brutal Beginnings ebook that's linked on this blog, you HAVE to check it out. Or die.

And I watched the video, it made me smile.
I just knew right then, that is what I was lookin for.
The video was just leakin of truth.

There is no self.

That's it, that's truth, there is no self.

That seemed fuckin insane, but it felt so right at the same time.

But I still hadn't fully dived deep into it before I could say it was true or false, so that's just what I did. I read the Brutal Beginnings book, requested posting rights for the arena. It was time I was free. And that was the place that would know how to point me to freedom.

So I did it, I went into the arena, and exposed myself, and at the same time really looked at it, looked at it, where is the self?

The body? no, the body lives, the body exists, there is nothing controlling it, the mind/body ornganism is fully functional and "I" have nothing to do with it.

The thoughts? The thoughts exist, the thoughts exist and the thoughts contained loads of shit, I can't control thoughts, the thoughts exist and are created regardless of "me"

Consciousness? what do "I" have to do with consciousness? I mean consciousness just is, there is consciousness but there is no "me" doing it. I mean that even sounds wrong.

Then fuck.

You know, it really is weird, that "fuck" moment.

You realised the biggest illusion that you have overlooked your whole life
"me"

Then I remembered that moment when I zenned out on the concept of life as a dream and me being a dreamer.

It wasn't because I thought life was a dream or that I was the dreamer.

It was cause at that moment there was nothing but life, me being a dreamer implied that I am not in life, that I have to not exist to be a dreamer.

The realization that I don't exist, and that everything else exists, is just so freeing, it's just so freeing that you could never understand it.

You had to experience it.

Everything came to place.
The search was over.

There was never such a thing as "me" to wonder whether I exist or not, I just never existed, that's why it felt wrong.

That's the feeling that was fucking me up, and it was that simple.

That was what it was all about.

I don't exist, life does, everything does, I don't, it's just this, it's just what is here now. Life is not a dream, life is something that you cannot just label, because there is no such thing as "you and life" there is just life.

It all is in perfect place right now.

But I'm ending this bullshit, I am giving people the end result, I am giving them the end, and the destruction of the illusion of search.

You don't exist, really, you don't.

You never did.

Freedom baby ;)
 

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Wednesday, 13 July 2011

Experience

There is nothing but the present moment, what is here, what is now.

Everything other than what is here and now is just the projection of the mind, it has no existence except as a projection, and nothing but that.

The past is a projection, it is real now only as a projection, but it is not apparent in actual reality.

You cannot prove the existence of anything outside this present moment, the thought rises now is only real now, when the next thought is experienced however, the thought before it does not exist.

Interesting.

"There" is an illusion, there is no place to reach, that is just a projection, there is only now, there cannot be anything else but now, the physical reality which is experienced now, there is just nothing else. Nothing.

The self cannot exist now, since the self is a combination of the past, future. But there is no past, there is no future, there is only the thought of one, a thought that suggests one, but in actual reality, there is just here, there is just now.

Nothing outside it, actually there is nothing but it, it is what IS.

Anything other than it is a projection. In actual reality it is simply nothing.

Not the concept of nothing, just nothingness.

Silence...
 

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Monday, 11 July 2011

First liberation :)

    • Hi, are you there?
  • Sebastián Hoch
    14 hours ago
    Anonymous
    • can I talk to you for a sec?
  • Kareem Zidan
    5 hours ago
    Kareem Zidan
    • Sure, what's up?
  • Sebastián Hoch
    3 hours ago
    Anonymous
    • are you there now? I hate this new chat
  • Kareem Zidan
    2 hours ago
    Kareem Zidan
    • Yeah I'm here
  • Sebastián Hoch
    2 hours ago
    Anonymous
    • two days ago I stumbled upon your blog, somehow... and I've been wandering about what you said (I also got into ruthless truth)
  • Kareem Zidan
    2 hours ago
    Kareem Zidan
    • You can send me messages while I'm offline
    • same here
  • Sebastián Hoch
    2 hours ago
    Anonymous
    • I can understand what you say... I can intellectually understand it, and share it... but I haven SEEN it... I've only seen it intellectually, but not really seen it... do you understand what I'm saying?
    • haven't*
  • Kareem Zidan
    2 hours ago
    Kareem Zidan
    • Yeah, I understand
    • Look, it's really simple than you think
    • Look at reality, is there a you anywhere?
  • Sebastián Hoch
    2 hours ago
    Anonymous
    • only in my mind... I mean, there is a self conciousness.. that's the only "me" I can recognize... my conciousness... the rest is only accumulation of experiences, knowledge, memories, etc
  • Kareem Zidan
    2 hours ago
    Kareem Zidan
    • You are really close man, it is actually just consciousness, there is no self to be consciousness of, there is just consciousness of the body, of the experience, but where is the "you" in that?

      There is no "you" in any of that.
      Come'on man, see it.
  • Sebastián Hoch
    2 hours ago
    Anonymous
    • I'm struggling with the "me" that makes decisions... when I decide to go outside for a walk, or play guitar... what is that "me" that decides? it decides with autonomy... it decides without help from anyone else... only my individuality intervenes... isn't that some kind of "me"?
  • Kareem Zidan
    2 hours ago
    Kareem Zidan
    • Thoughts just rise man, thoughts appear, decisions appear.
      there is a thought of reading this at the moment, there is no "you" that's making that happen, it just happened, there is no cause.

      The weather might be nice today, the thought of going out for a walk appears, there is no "you" in that, it all just happens, with no cause causing it.

      There is nothing that "decides" there is just thoughts of decision that rise, it's not "you" that's making the decision, it's just a decision, that came up out of nowhere.

      Individuality, everything that has ever been experienced will always be there, but you have never experienced a you have you? how can it be there then?
  • Kareem Zidan
    2 hours ago
    Kareem Zidan
    • There is just life man, there is no "you" vs "me" that's not real, there is just life, being, that's all, that's all it ever was.
  • Sebastián Hoch
    2 hours ago
    Anonymous
    • I think I'm getting it... so, even if I suddenly stop reading at the middle of a sentence, it's not me deciding "I'm going to stop now", but it just comes to be by itself... everything just comes upon, and then we add our sense of decision/control...

      because I really did stop reading at the middle of a sentence, to check if I could... and I did stop there, feeling that I had decided to stop... and then I continued... it felt like me in control... but, in reality, it just arose
  • Sebastián Hoch
    2 hours ago
    Anonymous
    • it's very hard to see it because my thoughts get in-between... they are too deep in my head and they intervene with everything... I need some sense of quietness in my head to see this, I think...
    • what about when I decide to tap my desk once, then twice, then once, then stop (I did it right now trying to see a "me")... those thoughts didn't come to my head, I produced them out of trying to find a "me" able to do something for myself... I tapped my desk with my fingers... do you think that came to me? or I did it?
  • Kareem Zidan
    2 hours ago
    Kareem Zidan
    • You didn't do it, it happened.

      Thoughts rise, thoughts are real, but you are not thoughts, you don't create them, try to think "what is the next thought that's gonna come into my head?" You want be able to, for the simple fact that "you" is just a thought that doesn't exist in reality.

      The thoughts "I am" suggest that there is a thinker, I do-er, a person living life.

      But look at life, look at reality man, you simply don't exist in reality.

      "do you think that came to me? or I did it?"
      There is no you.
      Nothing comes to "you"
      "you" don't exist.

      You could in the same way tap the desk with your fingers and think santa clause did that, but look at reality, there is no santa clause you just imagined one.

      In the same way, you don't exist, you just imagined a self that did that.
  • Sebastián Hoch
    about an hour ago
    Anonymous
    • I feel I'm so so so close, but not there yet... I can fully understand what you're saying... I can see the truth of it... I just haven't realized it mentally and actively... it comes and goes... I understand it but I haven't abandoned my "selfness" yet... but I think I'm really close... I need a final push and I'll be there
  • Sebastián Hoch
    about an hour ago
    Anonymous
    • rather than understand it through thoughts, I should ignore thoughts and only see what it IS
  • Kareem Zidan
    about an hour ago
    Kareem Zidan
    • Yes!

      Fuck, your right there, your on the edge man.

      Don't ignore them, just see them as they are, they are just thoughts, just that man, they don't mean anything, they're just thoughts, they're not "yours" they're just fucking thoughts.

      Come'on man, what the fuck are you expecting? this is nothing supernatural, on the contrary, this is what is natural, this is how it's been for you're whole life since you were born.

      THIS IS HOW IT'S ALWAYS BEEN, THERE NEVER WAS SUCH THING AS YOU MAN, FUCKING LOOK, LOOK AT IT, LOOK!!!

      YOU NEVER FUCKING EXISTED, NEVER, IT WAS JUST AN IMAGINATION!
  • Kareem Zidan
    about an hour ago
    Kareem Zidan
    • Come on man, what's stopping you from seeing this?
  • Sebastián Hoch
    about an hour ago
    Anonymous
    • I wish I knew... I'm trying to see it... see it beyond the verbal understanding... but something isn't letting me... I'm almost there
    • I can clearly see that there is no "me", but an image of me... and that image has been constructed through past experiences, which exist only in my mind... past is a creation of the mind... so that image cannot be real... it's just that, an image...
  • Kareem Zidan
    about an hour ago
    Kareem Zidan
    • There is no "there" it already is, you already don't exist.

      Yes!
      Go on man, this is music to my ears, perfect, go on.
  • Sebastián Hoch
    about an hour ago
    Anonymous
    • all the sense of "me" that I have, has been constructed based on the past... but the past is only thought... so, the sense of me is only thought too... past was created by my, and the image of me was derived from that... that means that the image itself was created by me
    • by me*
  • Sebastián Hoch
    about an hour ago
    Anonymous
    • there is no me, there only is
      any other feeling of "me" will necessarily be a construction from the pasts experiences of me that I hold in my mind
  • Kareem Zidan
    about an hour ago
    Kareem Zidan
    • Yes man, fucking yes.

      Is there a "you" now in any sense of the word?

      Unleash it, speak it out, I will understand, I promise. Just do your best here.

      For freedom. Do this for freedom.
  • Sebastián Hoch
    about an hour ago
    Anonymous
    • I feel there is a "me" in a sense of distinction between what I want, and what other person wants, or thinks... I want to go outside, my sister wants to stay here... there is a distinction between us... I want to do something, she doesn't... there is a "me" wanting that is different from her... but that "me" is just a construction, just an image... a self image, of myself, weird as it sounds...

      the image I have of me was created... the image I have of my sister was created too, and the image she has of herself, and of me, were created to... still, there is a distinction between what I want, and what she wants... there is a difference...
  • Sebastián Hoch
    about an hour ago
    Anonymous
    • but that's not really a distinction between me and her... between a "me" and a "her"... it's a distinction between desires, or longings... but not a distinction of "me", and "her"...
    • just as I can have opposing thoughts or desires, I can have opposing thoughts with another person... but there is not a "me" against "you", just a thought against another thought... between myself or between my and another person
    • me and another person*
  • Kareem Zidan
    about an hour ago
    Kareem Zidan
    • Ok man, look.

      There is no "you" there is no "her", there is just life. They are just conflicting thoughts.

      In reality, there is no "you" and "her" that was all made up by the mind.

      Just a projection, that's all it was.

      Now is there a you? don't distract yourself man, there is nothing more important than this, there is nothing more important than freedom, come on.

      I don't want 100% clarity, just be as clear as you can.
  • Kareem Zidan
    about an hour ago
    Kareem Zidan
    • Come on man stop thinking, STOP THINKING AND LOOK AT REALITY.

      DON'T THINK, DON'T TRY TO GET THIS, THIS IS NOT A CONCEPT, THIS IS REALITY, THIS IS TRUTH, DON'T FUCKING DISTRACT YOURSELF.

      THIS IS RIGHT INFRONT OF YOUR FACE, THERE IS NO YOU ANYWHERE, NOT ANYWHERE, NOT ANY-FUCKING-WHERE!!!!!!

      DON'T THINK ABOUT ANY THING AND LOOK, SIMPLY LOOK, THAT'S ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS LOOK.

      YOU DON'T FUCKING EXIST.
  • Sebastián Hoch
    about an hour ago
    Anonymous
    • I'm sitting in front of the screen, doing nothing else but this...
      but thoughts keep getting in my way and they don't let me see... I'm really trying to SEE it, actually see it... not verbally, not intellectually... but in actual reality... but I'm having a hard time... fucking thoughts get in the way all the time, they distort and condition everything
  • Sebastián Hoch
    about an hour ago
    Anonymous
    • I'm fighting with my own head, it's an exhausting and annoying struggle
  • Kareem Zidan
    58 minutes ago
    Kareem Zidan
    • You can't stop thought.

      Look at the thoughts, just let the thoughts go, is there a you in any of the thoughts?

      Is there a you doing ANY of them?

      Is there even a you doing the thought of "no self"?

      Don't fight the thoughts, look at them.
  • Sebastián Hoch
    59 minutes ago
    Anonymous
    • they just arise... they suddenly come to be... I'm not producing them, not even one of them...
  • Kareem Zidan
    58 minutes ago
    Kareem Zidan
    • Do you exist?
  • Sebastián Hoch
    57 minutes ago
    Anonymous
    • only in my mind
    • only in thought... not in reality
  • Kareem Zidan
    56 minutes ago
    Kareem Zidan
    • Rant about it, show me you've really got it.

      Then we're done.
  • Sebastián Hoch
    49 minutes ago
    Anonymous
    • I cannot believe how hard it is to see something... how deeply conditioned we are by thought... I'm still trying to see them arise, but it ends up being a thought watching a thought, instead of me directly watching thoughts
  • Kareem Zidan
    43 minutes ago
    Kareem Zidan
    • There is no you watching thought, thoughts just rise, as part of the experience, you just assumed that there is a you watching them, you assumed that what the thoughts suggested was real.

      There is no you, in anything, there is no you watching thought no you observing, it's all just a lie, it's all just an imagination.

      Do you have any doubts?

      It's best to be honest here.
  • Kareem Zidan
    42 minutes ago
    Kareem Zidan
    • and you also haven't shown me you got it, be clear about this, this is really important.
  • Sebastián Hoch
    41 minutes ago
    Anonymous
    • I don't really think I got it... I never did... I think I verbally and intellectually got it, but I haven't REALLY SEEN it... I have no interest in claiming so if it's not true
    • I can clearly understand it all... but I'm still not there... the difference between understanding something, and seeing the truth of something... anyway, I think I'm really really close, but I don't know what to do to get there
    • I feel I'm just one step from it... almost there... but I keep getting in thought games that lead nowhere
  • Kareem Zidan
    33 minutes ago
    Kareem Zidan
    • What are you expecting? Again, this is perfectly normal, this will not introduce you to some supreme powers, this is not something that will make everything turn pink and fluffy and love and peace being all there is for eternity.

      Now this is not somewhere that you have to reach.

      This is simply reality, simply how it has always been, you never existed.

      Seeing it now, looking at reality there is no self, self is just a thought.

      Santa clause is just a thought, does santa clause exist in reality? No, does a self exist in reality? no

      Stop expecting some major transformation, that won't happen.

      You already have everything you need to look, there is nothing to do except look, there is no you anywhere, anywhere at all.
  • Sebastián Hoch
    29 minutes ago
    Anonymous
    • I think I got it then... I've read Krishnamurti for a while (I guess you've probably read him)... and I've seen this fact that, the past is not real... the past is a creation of thought... and that past is responsible for fear, desire, etc... as well as the images we have of ourselves and other people... we construct those images from the past, but they are not real... the only real thing is now, what it is... images are not reality, so any sense of self (which HAS to come from an image), is not real, it cannot possibly be... it's nothing... the only thing that is, is now
  • Sebastián Hoch
    27 minutes ago
    Anonymous
    • I've seen it more as a sense of past, rather than a sense of self, but it is the same... if past is not real, then the self is not real, because it's only an image from the past... so I don't exist... anything that could possibly exist as an "I", is only past, which is in my head... so it is impossible for me to exist in reality
  • Kareem Zidan
    23 minutes ago
    Kareem Zidan
    • Yes, true, very good.

      So just to make sure, is there a you experiencing life now? Is there a you living? Is there a you thinking thought? Is there a you anywhere?

      Is there a you now?
  • Sebastián Hoch
    20 minutes ago
    Anonymous
    • no, there is only life, living, thoughts... there is only "now"... anything else (my life, me experience, my thought) involves past... and past only exists in thought, so it is not real... therefore, anything involving "me", or "I", is not real... because it includes a sense of past which doesn't exist
  • Sebastián Hoch
    18 minutes ago
    Anonymous
    • when you realize that past doesn't exist, that it only exists in your thoughts, you see that YOU don't exist, because any sense of you comes from the past... which, as we said, only exists in our thoughts

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Saturday, 9 July 2011

Creativity, the painter of life.

I was just writing something here and it seemed like it was a dead subject, seems as if I was planning to talk about something in paticular but in the end I was just spreading scattered ideas all over the place.

Fuck it.

Let's improvise.

Creativity, the creativity of life is seen everywhere, if you can't see the creativity in everything around you, then what can you see?

The creativity in the mistakes, the creativity in the illusionary perfections, the creativity in illusion itself, and even the creativity in dullness.

It can only be experienced now, the seemingly random feelings and thoughts that are occuring, are so creative in their existence, since they did not exist a second ago, neither will they exist the next second.

Music, the embodiment of creativity, the single sound waves embracing each other under one collective expression called music, the way it flows in and out of nothing is what is amazing.

Creativity, it's what makes the interesting interesting, and what makes the dull dull, the little tiny details that go missed in life, are a showcase of the creativity of life, there is no one thing the same as the other, everything is different, yet the bigger picture is whole.

Creativity, it's what's making the typing of this blog post happen, it's what is making me think the next thought in order to type the next letter, it's also what is making the next idea different from the previous one.

If we could see life as a painting, then creativity is the painter.

Planning out kills creativity, creativity is spontaneous, it is only experience now, it cannot be imagined, since it is what creates the imagining, the planning out and the worrying blinds us from that, blinds us from the creativity which IS the now.

So just drop everything you're doing now, and just take a moment to experience the creativity which is taking the form of what's infront of you, not only in these words, in everything around you, how everything is shaped to take a very peculiar, improvised, beautiful form if you take a relaxed look at it.

The creativity in colour, expression, music, dance, feeling, thought and life itself is something worth looking at.

There is something else I think would be worth doing, this is especially for liberated people.

Instead of being afraid from the apearence of thought of a self, instead of being afraid of it (like I have), don't focus on the content of that thought, focus on the creativity of it, focus on how creativity is the thought in itself, how thought seems so alive, how it is there this second and not the next.

So don't fear thought, see the creativity of it.

For the unliberated, for the un-enlightened, there is no self in creativity, there is no self in life, there is no self in this, there is just the creativity, just the life, just this, this is life, now focus on what I'm about to say.

Right now
You are experiencing the invisible painter of life, painting the never complete picture, look.

The painter painted an illusion called you.
Just see it as it is.
Look.

And as an ending to this post.
The perfection of life is in the imperfection, the perfection is in the incompletion.
Completion and perfection mean the end of creativity.
And the collapse of life.

Creativity is infinite.
 

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Monday, 4 July 2011

Bullshit

It seems to me that there is a huge inability for human beings nowadays to acknowledge the distinction between reality and fiction.

It's due to the very society we live in, the media controlling it has spread the idea in what to expect out of life, and not to see life as it truely, purely and simply is.

But they really can't be blaming anybody other than themselves, the acceptance of the lie clearly has happened on their side of the story and nothing can deny that. I am missing all honesty from people these days, it makes me wanna puke.

There is alot of denial, alot of prefering lies over truth, it's like it's this new fashion, how to dress up as the best lie today, how to be the supposedly "best" looking lie amongst your peers.

You have been tought how to be a lie, and your acceptance to that has made you become the embodiment of it.

What ever happened to simplicity? what ever happened to honesty?!

Society today is symbolised by the on-going false struggle to prove how much of a lie you are, if you have a well dressed up lie of a personality, you can join all you're cool, lie-for-a-personality friends, and of course enjoy their company, spreading you're bullshit around for everyone to see.

Also, they've got prices for bullshit, if you're wearing a peice of bullshit that costs 100$, well, by society's standards, your better that a person that's wearing a peice of bullshit that costs less.

You seem to forget you're wearing the same thing, bullshit, it just has a price-tag on it.

Also you got people making up bullshit in their heads, they believe that bullshit and they spread it around as beliefs. Everybody loves bullshit, everybody will never hesitate to belief the SAME bullshit over, and over, and over, and over again.

You got all different sorts of bullshit, doesn't matter what you believe, all that matters is.
IT'S ALL BULLSHIT!

Ah... You just love bullshit.

You just imagine shit up, believe it, and just sit there, worshipping your own bullshit, worshipping the lie you really are, worshipping the fake-ness and the worst kind of stuff you're own pathetic mind can think of. Then you create methods that make people never doubt that bullshit.

There are only two methods that I could think of right now:
1) Logic
2) Faith

You use logic to justify you're bullshit, by saying that it "makes sense", but in reality you're just using bullshit to justify bullshit. Can you use logic to explain why a tree is green? Can you use logic to explain why the sky is blue? Can you use logic to explain why dirt is different shades of brown? Can you use logic to explain life itself?

NO, and why is that? it's because logic is a made up thinking process, it is a programmed process that makes you think in a certain way, that makes you secure in you're conclusions using that process, and gives you this false sense of security, "Ah I used logic, that belief must be true".

Now lets translate that phrase into real terms: "Ah I used bullshit, that bullshit must be bullshit!"

It's just a made up thinking process, just that, and it confines you into this box of meaningless boundaries that you full heartedly accept.

Faith, now Ciaran Healy (the author of the ruthless truth site) explained what true faith really is in his post.
Click here to read it

Just as you falsly love to believe for the sake of bullshit, you blindly beleived in a self, a self that controls, a self that does, the self as the experiencer of the experiencer. NEVER has it occured to you that it's bullshit.

Your too blind, open your eyes, they're there for a reason.

Open your motherfucking eyes!

Want to see reality? THIS IS REALITY, THIS IS FUCKING REALITY.

Reality is FUCKING STARING YOU AT THE FACE, and all you fucking do is INVENT WAYS TO DISTORT IT INTO WHAT IT'S NOT!!!

You see a fucking tree, it's there! You don't invent ways and methods to "prove" it's not there do you?!!!
Well it's not fucking different with everything else.
Where is the fucking self? where is it? where the fuck is it in reality??? WHERE?!!!!
YOU JUST FUCKING INVENTED ONE!

Is it fucking hard to see that reality is all that IS?!
Don't you see how weird that sounds?

It's cause it's like me telling you that a square is only a square.
Why the fuck would I say that?
It's already obvious!

The same way i'm telling you that reality is all that IS, and thoughts are JUST THOUGHTS!
I don't HAVE TO FUCKING SAY THAT
It's already fucking obvious!

Then why is it hard to see the inventions of your own mind? Tell me that!
Why is it hard to see that your "self" is just an invention of you're mind, It's nowhere in reality! and it's already obvious!
Don't listen to me, reality speaks for itself.
And it's staring you in the face!

Drop your fiction books of beleif for a moment and look at reality.

Wake up!

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Saturday, 2 July 2011

Subjectivity, the echo of objectivity.

It's been two weeks since my liberation, and I must say it's been a really enjoyable ride up until now.

Now in this blog I'm going to talk about the subjective experience, and the objective experience, and how they co-exist in reality (ofcourse with the non existence of an actual self).

Here are the defintions from an online dictionary:

Subjective:
existing in the mind; belonging to the thinking subject rather than to the object of thought ( opposed to objective).

Objective:
Having actual existence or reality.

Now throughout my life there was this assumption that the subjective experience was seperate from the objective experience, as in, the thoughts were never relevant to the object, and vice versa.

But actually that was never the case, they both co-exist, for the objective experience is necessary for the subjective experience to occur, and also, you could say that the subjective experience is the lens worn in which life is experienced through, in other words, the subjective experience distorts the reality of reality if not seen as it really is.

They seem as seperate experiences, but they are actually sub experiences of the main experience of life.

Now let's talk about the subjective experience for a while.

Subjectivity could be defined by the arising of thought, think of it as "the experience of thought". Now, thoughts are a major and essential part in life-experience, since they are the signals sent in and out of the brain.

Now this part is important.

The actual thoughts are real, but the meaning of the thoughts are not.

Think of thoughts like a tree, the thoughts grow and spread out like the leaves of a tree, but you can't look at a tree and say "what is the meaning of the tree?" since the tree just is, it looks beautiful, but it has no "meaning", it means nothing, it just is.

Now you have many trees, many root thoughts and their stems, a thought and the derivatives of that thought.

One of those thoughts say "I am", the content of that thought suggests the existence of a self, that causes, lives, does, sees. The doer of the doing and the experiencer of the experience.

The thought exists, the thought is REAL, but what it points to is not, the thought suggests a self, a doer, but where is it?

It doesn't exist in reality.

There are thoughts that suggest the independance of a subjective thinker from an objective reality.

Which means that these thoughts create the ILLUSION of seperation, the illusion the there is an "I" that is doing, that is seeing, that is feeling. And that "I" is independant from life, the independant experiencer.

In reality these thoughts are just thoughts, and there is no seperation in reality, reality is one, each and everything in life is a component of the whole, which is "life" itself.

Now there are thoughts that occur that cause a "belief", belief that a thought really means something and that it is "real".

Question that belief, since alot of beliefs are created based on mere assumptions, there are no assumptions in reality, there is just what is, and what is NOT.

There came the assumption to assume the existance of an "I" as the source of thought, and as a seperate entity.

See the assumption for what it is by seeing the source of that.

What is the cause of thought?

There is none, asking what the cause of thought is is like asking what is the cause of life.

There is no cause to life, there is no cause to thought, they just happen in the present moment, they occur without a sense of identity, and without a sense of cause.

There is no meaning to a thought of self.

Don't blindly "believe" me on this, see for yourself.

Once the thought is seen as it is, the meaning (hence the illusion) of that thought becomes meaningless, there is no such thing as a self in life, just a thought of that.

Then the beautiful harmony between experience and thought (objective, subjective) is seen, how they beautifully interconnect meaninglessly as the feeding loop of a never ending, beautiful cycle called life.

Subjectivity is the echo of objectivity.

The objective experience is like the water that feeds the mind with subjective thought that grows endlessly, without a cause and without a purpose.

Cause and purpose destroy the wonderful beauty of meaningless-ness.

You can see that in art,
In music and in the simplest overlooked things such as the act breathing.

There are only SUGGESTIONS to a seperate experience.

But there is none.

There is just life.

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