I was just writing something here and it seemed like it was a dead subject, seems as if I was planning to talk about something in paticular but in the end I was just spreading scattered ideas all over the place.

Fuck it.

Let's improvise.

Creativity, the creativity of life is seen everywhere, if you can't see the creativity in everything around you, then what can you see?

The creativity in the mistakes, the creativity in the illusionary perfections, the creativity in illusion itself, and even the creativity in dullness.

It can only be experienced now, the seemingly random feelings and thoughts that are occuring, are so creative in their existence, since they did not exist a second ago, neither will they exist the next second.

Music, the embodiment of creativity, the single sound waves embracing each other under one collective expression called music, the way it flows in and out of nothing is what is amazing.

Creativity, it's what makes the interesting interesting, and what makes the dull dull, the little tiny details that go missed in life, are a showcase of the creativity of life, there is no one thing the same as the other, everything is different, yet the bigger picture is whole.

Creativity, it's what's making the typing of this blog post happen, it's what is making me think the next thought in order to type the next letter, it's also what is making the next idea different from the previous one.

If we could see life as a painting, then creativity is the painter.

Planning out kills creativity, creativity is spontaneous, it is only experience now, it cannot be imagined, since it is what creates the imagining, the planning out and the worrying blinds us from that, blinds us from the creativity which IS the now.

So just drop everything you're doing now, and just take a moment to experience the creativity which is taking the form of what's infront of you, not only in these words, in everything around you, how everything is shaped to take a very peculiar, improvised, beautiful form if you take a relaxed look at it.

The creativity in colour, expression, music, dance, feeling, thought and life itself is something worth looking at.

There is something else I think would be worth doing, this is especially for liberated people.

Instead of being afraid from the apearence of thought of a self, instead of being afraid of it (like I have), don't focus on the content of that thought, focus on the creativity of it, focus on how creativity is the thought in itself, how thought seems so alive, how it is there this second and not the next.

So don't fear thought, see the creativity of it.

For the unliberated, for the un-enlightened, there is no self in creativity, there is no self in life, there is no self in this, there is just the creativity, just the life, just this, this is life, now focus on what I'm about to say.

Right now
You are experiencing the invisible painter of life, painting the never complete picture, look.

The painter painted an illusion called you.
Just see it as it is.
Look.

And as an ending to this post.
The perfection of life is in the imperfection, the perfection is in the incompletion.
Completion and perfection mean the end of creativity.
And the collapse of life.

Creativity is infinite.
 

It seems to me that there is a huge inability for human beings nowadays to acknowledge the distinction between reality and fiction.

It's due to the very society we live in, the media controlling it has spread the idea in what to expect out of life, and not to see life as it truely, purely and simply is.

But they really can't be blaming anybody other than themselves, the acceptance of the lie clearly has happened on their side of the story and nothing can deny that. I am missing all honesty from people these days, it makes me wanna puke.

There is alot of denial, alot of prefering lies over truth, it's like it's this new fashion, how to dress up as the best lie today, how to be the supposedly "best" looking lie amongst your peers.

You have been tought how to be a lie, and your acceptance to that has made you become the embodiment of it.

What ever happened to simplicity? what ever happened to honesty?!

Society today is symbolised by the on-going false struggle to prove how much of a lie you are, if you have a well dressed up lie of a personality, you can join all you're cool, lie-for-a-personality friends, and of course enjoy their company, spreading you're bullshit around for everyone to see.

Also, they've got prices for bullshit, if you're wearing a peice of bullshit that costs 100$, well, by society's standards, your better that a person that's wearing a peice of bullshit that costs less.

You seem to forget you're wearing the same thing, bullshit, it just has a price-tag on it.

Also you got people making up bullshit in their heads, they believe that bullshit and they spread it around as beliefs. Everybody loves bullshit, everybody will never hesitate to belief the SAME bullshit over, and over, and over, and over again.

You got all different sorts of bullshit, doesn't matter what you believe, all that matters is.
IT'S ALL BULLSHIT!

Ah... You just love bullshit.

You just imagine shit up, believe it, and just sit there, worshipping your own bullshit, worshipping the lie you really are, worshipping the fake-ness and the worst kind of stuff you're own pathetic mind can think of. Then you create methods that make people never doubt that bullshit.

There are only two methods that I could think of right now:
1) Logic
2) Faith

You use logic to justify you're bullshit, by saying that it "makes sense", but in reality you're just using bullshit to justify bullshit. Can you use logic to explain why a tree is green? Can you use logic to explain why the sky is blue? Can you use logic to explain why dirt is different shades of brown? Can you use logic to explain life itself?

NO, and why is that? it's because logic is a made up thinking process, it is a programmed process that makes you think in a certain way, that makes you secure in you're conclusions using that process, and gives you this false sense of security, "Ah I used logic, that belief must be true".

Now lets translate that phrase into real terms: "Ah I used bullshit, that bullshit must be bullshit!"

It's just a made up thinking process, just that, and it confines you into this box of meaningless boundaries that you full heartedly accept.

Faith, now Ciaran Healy (the author of the ruthless truth site) explained what true faith really is in his post.
Click here to read it

Just as you falsly love to believe for the sake of bullshit, you blindly beleived in a self, a self that controls, a self that does, the self as the experiencer of the experiencer. NEVER has it occured to you that it's bullshit.

Your too blind, open your eyes, they're there for a reason.

Open your motherfucking eyes!

Want to see reality? THIS IS REALITY, THIS IS FUCKING REALITY.

Reality is FUCKING STARING YOU AT THE FACE, and all you fucking do is INVENT WAYS TO DISTORT IT INTO WHAT IT'S NOT!!!

You see a fucking tree, it's there! You don't invent ways and methods to "prove" it's not there do you?!!!
Well it's not fucking different with everything else.
Where is the fucking self? where is it? where the fuck is it in reality??? WHERE?!!!!
YOU JUST FUCKING INVENTED ONE!

Is it fucking hard to see that reality is all that IS?!
Don't you see how weird that sounds?

It's cause it's like me telling you that a square is only a square.
Why the fuck would I say that?
It's already obvious!

The same way i'm telling you that reality is all that IS, and thoughts are JUST THOUGHTS!
I don't HAVE TO FUCKING SAY THAT
It's already fucking obvious!

Then why is it hard to see the inventions of your own mind? Tell me that!
Why is it hard to see that your "self" is just an invention of you're mind, It's nowhere in reality! and it's already obvious!
Don't listen to me, reality speaks for itself.
And it's staring you in the face!

Drop your fiction books of beleif for a moment and look at reality.

Wake up!

It's been two weeks since my liberation, and I must say it's been a really enjoyable ride up until now.

Now in this blog I'm going to talk about the subjective experience, and the objective experience, and how they co-exist in reality (ofcourse with the non existence of an actual self).

Here are the defintions from an online dictionary:

Subjective:
existing in the mind; belonging to the thinking subject rather than to the object of thought ( opposed to objective).

Objective:
Having actual existence or reality.

Now throughout my life there was this assumption that the subjective experience was seperate from the objective experience, as in, the thoughts were never relevant to the object, and vice versa.

But actually that was never the case, they both co-exist, for the objective experience is necessary for the subjective experience to occur, and also, you could say that the subjective experience is the lens worn in which life is experienced through, in other words, the subjective experience distorts the reality of reality if not seen as it really is.

They seem as seperate experiences, but they are actually sub experiences of the main experience of life.

Now let's talk about the subjective experience for a while.

Subjectivity could be defined by the arising of thought, think of it as "the experience of thought". Now, thoughts are a major and essential part in life-experience, since they are the signals sent in and out of the brain.

Now this part is important.

The actual thoughts are real, but the meaning of the thoughts are not.

Think of thoughts like a tree, the thoughts grow and spread out like the leaves of a tree, but you can't look at a tree and say "what is the meaning of the tree?" since the tree just is, it looks beautiful, but it has no "meaning", it means nothing, it just is.

Now you have many trees, many root thoughts and their stems, a thought and the derivatives of that thought.

One of those thoughts say "I am", the content of that thought suggests the existence of a self, that causes, lives, does, sees. The doer of the doing and the experiencer of the experience.

The thought exists, the thought is REAL, but what it points to is not, the thought suggests a self, a doer, but where is it?

It doesn't exist in reality.

There are thoughts that suggest the independance of a subjective thinker from an objective reality.

Which means that these thoughts create the ILLUSION of seperation, the illusion the there is an "I" that is doing, that is seeing, that is feeling. And that "I" is independant from life, the independant experiencer.

In reality these thoughts are just thoughts, and there is no seperation in reality, reality is one, each and everything in life is a component of the whole, which is "life" itself.

Now there are thoughts that occur that cause a "belief", belief that a thought really means something and that it is "real".

Question that belief, since alot of beliefs are created based on mere assumptions, there are no assumptions in reality, there is just what is, and what is NOT.

There came the assumption to assume the existance of an "I" as the source of thought, and as a seperate entity.

See the assumption for what it is by seeing the source of that.

What is the cause of thought?

There is none, asking what the cause of thought is is like asking what is the cause of life.

There is no cause to life, there is no cause to thought, they just happen in the present moment, they occur without a sense of identity, and without a sense of cause.

There is no meaning to a thought of self.

Don't blindly "believe" me on this, see for yourself.

Once the thought is seen as it is, the meaning (hence the illusion) of that thought becomes meaningless, there is no such thing as a self in life, just a thought of that.

Then the beautiful harmony between experience and thought (objective, subjective) is seen, how they beautifully interconnect meaninglessly as the feeding loop of a never ending, beautiful cycle called life.

Subjectivity is the echo of objectivity.

The objective experience is like the water that feeds the mind with subjective thought that grows endlessly, without a cause and without a purpose.

Cause and purpose destroy the wonderful beauty of meaningless-ness.

You can see that in art,
In music and in the simplest overlooked things such as the act breathing.

There are only SUGGESTIONS to a seperate experience.

But there is none.

There is just life.

So this is basically how it happened from the start, you were told since you were a little kid how to react in each and every situation in your life, you have been told how to be a supposedly "good boy" in the society you live in, of course you had to have manners, what use would you be without manners, jeez.

Of course you had to smile, "I'm smiling mummy" "Oh, good boy!" *Pats on head*

Ughh

It's all bullshit, all of it, just shit shoved into your brain.

But there is this one thing thats the most shittiest of all bullshit.

That you exist.

I mean that's the biggest lie I have ever discovered in my entire lifetime (not so long though just 18 years so yeah)

So how did this all happen?

Well there has always been just life, you knew that when you were a cute little fucking baby, there was just life and there were just things, these things, there were also these faces, bodys, human beings, they looked like you, but a bit more larger, mature version of you, that's all they were, human beings you know. Simple as fucking that.

You called them "mum" and "dad", just labels you know, they didn't "mean" anything, really they didn't, just labels assigned to the first mature human beings you were ever aware of.

There was no "You" at the time, was there?!

Ofcourse your mother called you a name, whatever that name is, you had no awarness except of the body, sensations of the body, and what you saw.

You didn't "understand" shit, there was just that name, it was just a label, just a name, didn't mean anything, just a friggen name.

There was no such thing as the idea of "self" there was just everything, there wasn't "knowing" there was everything, it was just friggen everything, life, nature, the trees, the beauty, the innocence, no meaning, just life, nothing more, nothing less.

You matured and your mind matured with you, adapting what was seen from the envioronment, adaptation, yes that's where the problem was, adaptation.

You started to connect things with things, you started connecting the name with the body, relating the body to other bodies, relating this with that, relating A with B.

Yes my sad friend, that was the beginning of the concept of self.

When people used the word "you", you could do nothing but question it, it was of your nature, I don't think there's anything wrong with that, it just happened, you had to question shit to be able to adapt to the life you saw.

So you questioned it "What am I?" "What does it mean?"

Trying to make sense out of it you related that word with the body you were aware of, the sensations you had and the relation that body/mind had with everything around it.

Don't you see? You just created a fucking entity out of nothing. But something that is created out of nothing will remain as it is, just simply nothing.

Just a picture that gives you an illusion that it's something more, something deeper something more than it really is.

But in reality it is just what it is, there is no depth to it, there's nothing more to it then what it really is.

It's just a label, it's just a word, the meaning behind it is the meaning that the mind created it.

Somehow the mind never questioned it, it just kept on going in life assuming that there is some paticular thing called "self" or "me" or more better put "my-self" that was the cause and the reason for everything the mind put out, and the body felt.

That was never the case.

You should look deep into this, isn't there just the possiblity that I was living a lie for my entire life?

My mind isn't perfect, it's always prone to mistakes, it always does mistakes, it was never meant to be "right" all the time.

"Right" and "wrong" are just concepts attached to self as well, but I'll get into that in another post.

You have always related your mind with everything around you, and gave the idea a sense of life, "I am happy" "I am sad" "I am excited" "I am bored".

Everything had to be tied to a sense of identity, and the reason? blind belief, just like blindly believing some guy that told you "apes are controlling the world".

I mean why should "you" be identified with the body? why not be identified with this screen? It's the same thing if you look at it.

There was no you from the very beginning.

Even the thought that there is no you is not a thought created by "you".

Come on, test it for yourself, you are having thoughts right now aren't you? are they yours? how do they belong to "you"? you never caused them, they just happened, what is the substance of "you", if it has any substance at all, to be able to create a thought?

Just drop the bullshit man/woman, just for once

drop the fucking bullshit.

Be honest, be honest, for freedom.

Do this for freedom.

Honestly question you're existence.

Trust me, it will be worth it.

Everything in life is already happening, even before you think of resisting or accepting it, but if you look deep enough you will see that the resisting and accepting are both part of what's happening.

Actually if you look deep enough you will see that the happening happened before "you" somehow appeared to be experiencing it, the experience is already there, the thought of "I" was generated after the experience.

You cannot say that "I" am observing, "I" am seeing, "I" am listening, because of the simple fact that the observing, seeing, listening had already occured, the "I" is an imaginary appendix of that experience.

Actually look at the words "I am", look at how these words relate to the "you" that you think is there, where does it lead? does it have substance? and the most important question of all, is it real? does it exist?!

You are not looking, you are not seeing, right here and now as you are reading these words, is there an "I" that's causing the reading? or is the reading just occuring?

Did you ever have the will to read this next word, or did the reading of this next word occur regardless of your will? See it as it is said.

Just an imaginary puppeteer claiming control, there was never a puppeteer, there was never control.

Read these words carefully.

You

Don't

Exist

NOW!